"Ode to Dumb Bell Squat Cleans"

Beloathed DB squat cleans, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways...

Standby I am still thinking....

You are a mask of lies and deception DB squat cleans. You have lured me in with your siren song only to leave me breathless and  wishing for death yet again.

You speak softly into my good ear of power and strength, stamina and fast twitch muscle development.  But from you all I feel is pain... oh the  pain.

The Pain...it consumes me...The Pain it taunts and tangles my heart and glute/ham tie in (that little place where your butt attaches to your leg)

You birthed this pain DB squat cleans, with that you birthed my bain, my abhorrence.

I tried to love thee my beloathed DB squat cleans.  Why won't you let me love thee? Is it because you were spawned by the devil and my heart is too pure to love such verboten evil?

I would climb the highest mountains, swim the deepest darkest oceans, walk miles after miles of desert, I would give up coffee and napping , donate my shoes to a shoe burning festival...if only you would cease to exist DB squat cleans. 

This I vow; you will ne'er more from this day forward pull your wiry wool over mine eyes.  You're a bitch DB squat cleans I've got your number.

the best part is who even knows if they help.  The "undertaker" sent me an email today.  It read "Do you have a taser gun?" You are JOKING me right???