Thank You

I am going to caveat this message with a few warnings:  This may be long…this may ramble and this may more than likely make me cry.  This is my official thank you.  I have so many things to write so many words to put onto this paper and so many emotions to express.  To start this composition is quite daunting, more daunting than starting the race, simply because I will be trying to accurately express every bit of gratitude without omission…yet fully aware that I will never be able to get it all out…not in a way that people will know exactly how much they mean to me.

This will be out of order and more than likely meander through tangents.  Most may feel it inapplicable but try to stay with me.   For those of you mentioned know that this does not scratch the surface for those of you not mentioned your impact has not been any less appreciated.

 I started this on June 8^th, 2011, 16 days before the race.  I knew I would have to start it early because of the amount personal gravity it holds.   By the end of this I will have read, re-read, re-written, added, deleted and edited this letter about 100 times.  Every time it will mean just as much to me.

Daddy,

 I don’t know why you did everything that you did for us.  I didn’t have to ask I didn’t have to beg or convince or plead a case, all I had to do was post a status update in face book about needing a drill and the next day you sent us messages telling us they were added to the pile.  I don’t know why you blindly supported yet another one of your youngest daughter’s ridiculous ideas.  I am beginning to believe, by your unwavering support, that I get these haphazard tendencies from you.  The wild burr up my ass to do something huge and unrealistic most likely comes from the fact that I am your daughter…your baby girl.  You never asked “why?” you never told me “no you can’t do that…it’s not a good idea” you just said “OK what do you need”.   I know you think you weren’t there for me for a lot of my life.  I know you think you missed all of the important parts of growing up Katya, but you didn’t you were there for the things that mattered and your still here for the things that mean the most to me.  I will always be your baby and you will always be my daddy.  I love you dadoo thank you.

Sarah,

You are my best friend and my biggest fan.  Ours is the only bridge you have ever re-built.   The things we have been through together…my God.  We have been through fat and skinny, married and divorced, the dumped and the new loves, Manolo Blahniks and Christian Louboutins.  Crossed borders, fallen on trails, inside jokes and pseudo families.  We’ve been to war together.  You gave me my God son.  You know me inside and out.  You know all about all of my crazy you are the person to whom I tell everything.  You keep me grounded and you enable my addictions.  You see the best parts of me and see the things I can’t see myself.  You have done this for years without falter or fail without question without doubt.  Hell…you’ve done it without every actually talking to me.  I don’t know why you picked me but I’m sure glad you did.  You have been the crutch I’ve needed to lean on the voice of reason and the spiraling lunatic.  You are me and well shit I love me so…Thank you for being my best friend and one of the loves of my life.

Alissa,

Do you even have any idea how amazing you are? You walk around through your daily life as a silent giant.  You are already all of the things that you aspire to be and you are only 16 years old.  You think you look up to me but I am here to tell you my dear it is quite the opposite.  You are the person I want to be when I grow up.  You make me want to be a better person.  You make me want to do good at all times.  You make me feel accountable for my actions and you make me proud of both myself and more so of you.  You make me who I am and you do it completely unaware of yourself.  I love you mini me.  You are the best part of all of us and I’m thankful to be the smallest part of who you are.

Deb & Frank,

 I have NO idea why you let your kids hang out with me…I mean really have you seen me drive? Your family is the stuff that books are written about.  The cracks and flaws are hidden in the shadows of the internal support and love that you all can’t help but exude.  I don’t know why you picked me either…maybe you and Sarah should sit down and figure that out someday.  The things you have done for me have been so far above and so far beyond anything that people should do for another person to whom they have no ties…I don’t deserve how good you are to me.  There is nothing exceptional about teaching you how to do a hang clean but there are endless numbers of accolades I could sing about the dozens upon dozens of selfless things you have done for me.  Coming to pick up my trash when it is piled half way up my barn, taking me in on thanksgiving, driving me home when I realize how stupid it was to ride my bike all the way to your house, standing up for me when no one else wanted to, letting me cry, listening to me yell, lending me your children for manual labor and dog sitting, allowing me to be a part of your family.  I love every single one of you Deb, Frank, Alissa, Joe, Zac, Minnet and Ken. 

Carrie,

OOOOH guuuurl what have you gotten yourself into.  I am not sure if you know this or not but I get attached to people.  The people that I choose to force kicking and screaming into my life I choose because they are the people I can most learn from and be influenced by in a positive manor.  You unfortunately are one for those people.  Sorry you’re stuck with me.  I knew it from the second you messaged me and from the first time I talked to you on the phone.  You’re quite the accomplished individual and you can see it in the faces of your daughters.  You have no limits and you’re a force of nature stuck in a body built to move mountains.  A greater haphazard friend I couldn’t ask for and you are in my heart girl whether you like it or not. Love you.

The Vessel,

I won’t speak to this one directly, but I felt the need to thank him.  I thank him for teaching me how to appreciate great people.  I thank him for teaching me to recognize validity in human hearts.  I thank him for showing me the things that I do want and bringing to the surface the things that I do not.  I thank him for being the vessel that brought her to me.

Loo,

Where on earth do I start Loo? Our friendship has been quite a journey…a journey that was birthed out of pain…a journey that was birthed out of darkness.  We were by definition nemeses.   We had NO reason to befriend each other.  You had NO reason to create a relationship of ANY kind with me.  I represented something in your life that hurt you, something that walled you up, something that tried to break you.  I was a constant reminder of things you wanted to forget.  We were thrown together by the will of fate.  Our first meeting was a blur.  I hated that I liked you.  I said to you once that once we were both healed then we would be kindred.  That happened a long long time ago.  You put yourself right in the middle of an emotional fire for a stranger.  You talked me through a tough part of my life for NO other reason than you ARE in fact the giving tree.  You saw a person sinking...a stranger and you jumped into quicksand to help pull them out.  You are selfless you are beautiful you are strong and powerful beyond measure.  You are honest you are a force to be reckoned with and I gladly stand beside you and call you my beloved friend…my fellow Glamazon.  I would warn whomever you need to warn mama because I have this sneaking suspicion we are just getting started.

I could literally write and write until you have all been so exasperated and I have repeated myself so many times that nothing I say has any meaning.  There are so many more people could write about.  SO many more people who deserve words…I’m not winning any great award I just feel grateful for everything I have seen…all of the good in all of the people that I know.   Karen H. You don’t even know me and look how much you have done for me! Karen M. girl you have NO idea what it means to me to have your constant support.  I miss seeing you every day and I’m more than glad we happened to start talking about Tosca Reno that morning in the break room! My mom who probably thinks this was one of the more pointless things I have decided to take on but who by now has learned to silently sigh and let me do what I want.  She knows I get my stubborn from her…and yes for all of you who have been wondering…oh she WAY worse than me.  Tenacity from my dad stubborn from my mom…good mix huh? Anyways…told you I would digress.

Thank you everyone for everything. 

Short...Sweet...SWEEEEEEEEEET

It is DEFIANTELY Monday…the race is DEFINITELY on Friday…Loo DEFINITELY gets here THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW! I have been practicing my squeal and hug techniques.  People are going to be annoyed in the airport but we are bigger than like everyone so I have an INKLING they won’t do JACK about it.  I’m so stoked…I am not sure how to explain it really.  Not nervous not scared just ready I guess … as ready as I can be for not really knowing what I’m getting into! I know its short and sweet but I have a TON of work to do since I’m taking so much time off and I had final last week so I have been all over the place.  We will do a joint blog when we are co-located and possibly upload pictures of us packing and getting ready! I really can’t wait it’s gonna be epic!

Our Abridged Story

Upon the threats of my God sons mother…and let me know if this is fair... always seems to use my God son as ammo when she wants or DOESN’T want me to do something, date someone, go somewhere…though…I guess for the record I should say she is almost always right and I PROBABLY should let her run my life or at least listen to her more.  Anyways she requested we blog more.  I KNOW it’s been a minute or two sine we have written anything but I have to tell you man…its getting down to the wire over here!  Loo will be flying into the Reagan National Airport in Washington D.C. 8 DAYS!!!!!! EIGHT DAYS!!!! (You can’t capitalize numbers so you have to write them out to convey extreme emotion).  I have to tell you i am SUPER excited! I am PRETTY sure I remember what her voice sounds like but again…there was tequila involved the second time I talked to her and the first I was trying not to throw up all over brand new Lululemon stuff I had yet to purchase.  I will DEF recognize my fellow Glamazon in arms when she walked through the gates at the airport mostly because she will be taller than everyone else! For the first time in my life I am going to be on a team where everyone will refer to me as “the short one”!

So this weekend was LONG.  Those of you who have been on my FB know that I participated in the Fredericksburg R.A.T. race this Saturday. This was comprised of 4 miles in a canoe (which I have never done) 10 miles on my mountain bike (which we all know I am SUPER awesome at riding) and a 5.2 mile trail run.  IT WAS HARD! Canoeing is way harder than Daniel Day Lewis made it look in Last of the Mohicans.  I managed to run DIRECTLY into what can only be described as a tribute to Plymouth Rock and greatly injure the shins of my partner.  The bike was better than I have done but it took us QUITE some time to make it the whole ride and I look like I have been karate kicking boulders.  I am about 1 day away from saying eff it and getting spray tanned these legs are a MESS. By the time it was time to run it was about 85% humidity and 90 degrees out so needless to say but I will say it anyways…man…IT WAD HARD.  LITERALLY the only thing that got me through the run was knowing that at that exact moment on the other side of the country Loo was doing lateral burpees over a man made life sized cross.  I purposely stayed 50 yards behind Zeal so that he couldn’t hear me groaning “why won’t this just end” I was a BRAT! But after the race I gathered at the barn with a few friends and we drank margaritas out of hub caps and played catch phrase until we could no longer understand the ramblings of the drunk NC born man trying to describe accurately so we would guess “Renee Zelwigger” (sp) he was NOT successful.  It was a great weekend topped off by a Sunday trip to REI for Loo and my food for the race and some Lululemon for me for being so very very good that weekend!

Ready to get mushy??? I wanted to finally tell you all the story of “us” not the whole story but the abridged version (you we are going to make you all buy the book).  This is actually just the letter I was going to send to CF journal for publication but we never got a response for it so I figured let’s not let it go to waste.

“What we do in life echoes in eternity” This quote resonates more than simply the expert script writing and convincing delivery of Hollywood.  You will remember the greatest parts of your life and it is your choice whether those bullets are positive or negative.  This story illustrates just that idea.  You can choose to allow dark moments to dictate who you are or you can choose through discomfort to turn from the dark into the light. 

There are moments, songs, smells, snapshots and people that will paint the portraits of an individual’s integrity, demeanor and exuberant presence.  Two people have accidentally become each other’s catalyst for incomparable personal growth.  The path we have forged was blazed with fire and passion.  We ignited a massive emotional explosion and in its wake, littered behind us were all of the scarred wounds, self doubt, hung heads, weakness and pity we ever had for ourselves.  We have replaced every single one of those things with tenacity, strength, power and a kindred friendship. 

The basis of our friendship is not by ANY means normal in accordance to social standards.  We were, for lack of a better word, nemeses from our very first accidental yet fated encounter.   We inherently blamed on another for the misguided actions of another and yes if you are intuitive enough you will quickly figure out that we were set at each other’s throats at the hands of a man who did not know how to properly handle either of us.  Having your cake and eating it to, does not bode well in the world of a Glamazon.  His role in our creation is miniscule he was merely a vessel nothing more, so to get into any specifics of the situation would be both invalid and moot.  There are a select few privy to the knowledge and full back story, however, no one more so than the two of us and for the moment we will keep it that way.  Because of his callousness we have found in the world and in one another, appropriately on the opposite sides of the country, a true ally in arms.

In the beginning we would spiral.  Going on and on about things that no longer mattered, things that couldn’t be changed, things from which we needed to learn.  After we had the hours of dredging through emotions and anger and all the hurt we made a pact.  We would not let the insecure actions of a misguided person mandate our relationship.  In order to keep our sanity we focused on dial in motivation to push through tough workouts.  We found ourselves feeding off the strengths of one another to push our physical accomplishments.  We found ourselves getting to know each other.  We would submit daily text messages with the brutal punishment we had put ourselves through and describe eloquently how much we loved the pain.  It was healing for us.  It was commiseration in something other than the obvious. 

Every day we tested our mental toughness, looked for our threshold/work capacity, and pushed our limits to new levels.   All of these are based firmly on the backs of strength, stamina, endurance, mental toughness.

This went on for several weeks.  It was our therapy.  We looked forward to the daily challenges set out by each other.  It only seemed fitting that we continue to push ourselves past what we knew we could accomplish.  Strangely there was no competition between us.  We didn’t try to overrun or impress, out do or dominate each other…everyone else …yes…each other no.  It was a life line and the purest form of motivation.  It made us wonder what else we could do made us wonder where our breaking point was.  We found our next hurdle to overcome.  We mended hearts broke bodies and now wanted to face death.  The Peak Death Race was the closest thing we could find and Loo was the first person I thought to ask and she accepted BLINDLY.

We can’t train specifically for what is ahead of us we can only hope that our bodies and physical capabilities are well rounded enough to be ready for anything. Hike, climb, move heavy objects, carry gear on back, test intelligence, agility skills.  We don’t get a gear list until the last minute…any clue to what will be thrown at us will give us an advantage in training.  We must have endurance, yet be quick. Will require us to think and strategize. When to push fast, when to pace ourselves, knowing to gain ground in our "wheelhouse", how to battle through our weak skills.  We cannot be defined by our limitations.

Hello? Are you alive?

Yes, I am still alive. I am a horrible blogger, we all know this by now. I am still training. I am getting excited. I am scrambling, my mind is racing all the time, I can hardly sleep at night. I have gone so far as to sleep in my contacts a few nights to struggle with tired eyes. Katy and I cannot believe the race is almost here and we get to see each other in a few weeks. We celebrated our 1 year anniversary of "the blur" last week. Presents to be exchanged when I see her.....and tattoos will be in our future.

I conquered the Tough Mudder race a few weekends ago, which gave me a little boost in confidence about my athletic ability. All my hiking has really paid off, I was flying up the mountain and obstacles weren't too bad for me. But I do have to say that I was left badly bruised, felt like someone used a brillo pad to loofa my body and have scrapes that would lead you to believe I let a cat use me as a scratching post. Great learnings for what to wear for the Death Race.

I am looking forward to meeting up with a few of my fellow Death Racers this weekend to do a "Mini Death Race" that was designed by a few of their friends. Call it a dry run for what we are up against in a few weeks. We have a gear list of what we will need to bring and will find out late Friday night as to where and when our event will take place. They did a mock race a few weeks ago that began at 4:30am Saturday, covered 50 miles in 14 hours, required biking, swimming, hiking, and nonsense that attracted the police to question their sanity....Oh boy. I can't wait!

Okay, this is a lame short post. I know. But at least it is a post!

Delusional

BAHAHAHAHAHA...ridiculous...so amidst the training for the Death Race which is a mere 17 days away, I also am KIND of training for the R.A.T. race next Saturday ( I say kind of because I can't really get out and learn how to kayak in 6 days).  It is a multi sport race 10 miles of mountain biking, 4 miles of kayaking and 5 miles of trail running.  SO since that race is this Saturday I figured I should get fairly (as much as I can again in 6 days) comfortable on my bike.

 So here is another bad habit of mine.  I am a LITTLE delusional when it comes to my physical abilities.  I remember vividly the first time this trait reared its ugly head.   I was in 7th grade.  I went skiing with my best friend at the time Virginia Jarvis.  I had been skiing once before that I think when I was 7 and I'm SURE I didn't actually ski.  So Virginia and I ventured over to the bunny slope an went down twice.  After my second run down the basically flat snow surface I decided OBVIOUSLY I was good enough to do a black diamond. I mean...I didn't fall, I could stop, I didn't run into anyone...I was good.  Onto the lift I went and up up over up up up .  I got to the top of the slope and thought to myself  "self...this is going to be bad" but I was up there so...never mind I couldn't see the slop below me due to the angle of decent.  I went for it how else was I supposed to get down.  I got MAYBE 20 and no longer had either of my skis and only one pole was still in my hand.  True to form though I made it down mostly on my ass partly on my two feet...delusional. 

SO my point (yes there was one) seeing as I had ridden my bike in my neighborhood along the very wide gravel hills and also maneuvered successfully through pedestrian traffic in D.C. OVBIOUSLY I was ready for 10 mile on the trail of Lodi Farm.  More than likely none of you know what Lodi is.  Its and ACTUAL mountain bike trail...where ACTUAL mountain bikers go to ride their bikes.  That means its technical, slippery, steep, rooty, logy and NARROW.  Let us not mention (OK we will) that we took a wrong turn and ended up on the 10 mile route instead of the 5.  We will also pretend not to mention that I was a BRAT!! I do not fare well doing things I'm not good at doing so there was a lot of "GOD BLESS AMERICA"'s getting yelled.  I fell about 70 times and one of these probably the BEST fall...well hmmm I went over the handle bars going downhill BEFORE I knew you are supposed to get up off the saddle and sit back and lean forward (people like to tell me things after the fact)...but I think better than that was riding over a rail bridge and it turned slightly but I decided it was a better idea to stay straight and go front wheel first into the creek bank.  It was EPIC.  Out of a movie or comedy.  My wheel his the bank and bounced back but I kept going forward.  Needless to say I was laughed at a LOT today. 

 I know that this is supposed to be talking all about the DR training so i will throw in here at the end I that I went and got Loo and I the 10 ft of climbing rope we are required to have (static, dynamic who effing knows I closed my eyes and pointed) and some enduromax at the recommendation of a Ms Carrie Adams runner and DR crew-er extraordinaire. 

I'mma Show YOU how great I am!!!

My new favorite color is dirty.  I am constantly dirty these days and it’s become comforting.  Luckily my mom doesn’t read this blog otherwise I’m sure she’d be calling me to tell me I’m making it look like I was raised by wolves or marmots or something…but I wasn’t,  mom did a grand job…and she will tell you before anyone else I’m a “daddy’s girl” so she can’t be blamed for anything I do.  ANYWAYS…I’m dirty.  There is this constant weird black stuff under my nails.  I assume it’s from sand or logs or hell maybe it’s just from making breakfast I don’t know. 

Yesterday I was forced against my will to climb for 30 minutes with my 50# pack.  I so very much did not feel like it at all and in my head I was whining the whole time.  Luckily I can put on a good front.  My partner in crime at one point (he did it for an hour because he’s ridiculous) looked over at me and asked how I felt.  My response was “Oh I feel good my abductors are a little sore but I’m good!” Yea OK..ya know what else I am? I’m a LIAR that’s what.  I was NOT good.  I was UN-happy about my current station in life.  My legs felt like cement jell-o…I don’t even know how that is possible.  They were super heavy but not even a little stable.  I couldn’t see because in VA right now it is ABOUT 754 degrees and 99% humidity (apparently the “VA is for lovers” slogan was adopted during that three days of spring that VA sees every year…good job way to think that through…I don’t know ANYONE who likes “loving” in this weather it’s too hot to be in close proximity to myself let alone anyone else) and my body refused to keep any water,  I so diligently spent all day ingesting, INSIDE my body…it just dumped it out all over my face and eye balls and somehow UP my nose.  I got done with that stupid idea…that’s right I said it was STUPID (I can do that because it wasn’t my idea) and went over to the man cave and did 5 rounds of 50x double unders, 25x evil wheels, 5 x135# hang cleans and 15 x chin ups.  What was funny about that was EVERYTHING.  I couldn’t string more than 10 double unders together to  save my life which to the dismay of those around me made for some colorful verbal exclamatories… and my hang cleans…oh brother my hang cleans they were soups ugly.  I think I only got under the bar for one set the rest were at the will of God and pure grit…Now I WRITE that I did 5 rounds but there are two people around here that know I only did 4 rounds so let me go ahead and be honest. 

By the end of that I was dirty.  Evil wheels require that you fully extend so that your stomach is on the floor and my new toothpaste colored power Y tank is now a lovely shade of gym floor dirt grey…this is my happy face.  I am aware that it always sounds like I’m complaining but I’m not I love it and by the time I get home, eat and shower and get my nightly pep talk I always feel great.  A little proud of whatever I accomplished that day a little scared about what I have to do the next but great…and I mean it this time.

WE LIKE BIKES!

So…I just want to say first of all thank you to everyone who has been supporting us through this process all of this time…and to let you know not to worry it’s almost over.  That being said let’s talk about me again.  As a few of you may know I am a little impulsive and pretty easily influenced when it comes to activities.  Go ahead and ask Carrie who has convinced me that my NEXT endeavor, post Spartan Death Race, is going to be the GORE-TEX Trans-Rockies 120 miler…yea go ahead and re-read that sentence…that’s what I wrote.  Don’t bother asking me why because you all know what the answer is going to be “Because someone asked me to”.  The FUNNY thing is that tactic ONLY works with physical stuff.  If you ask me to go to the post office and mail something or get my oil changed it will NEVER happen…I am not very consistent that’s for SURE…well not in aspect to aspect of my personality.  Each aspect is pretty consistent within its self.

 OH total side note (this is going to be fun and I am bringing it up because I just called and left a message at my parents house and this STILL upsets me).  For no ish 30 years (as long as I can remember) the voice mail message on my parents phone has been my mother’s voice saying “thank you for leaving a message at  410 272 1199” ALL of a sudden its now some automated chick bossing me around telling me what to do…30 YEARS AND NOW THEY CHANGE IT! Actually they changed it about 8 months or so ago but it still makes me mad face when I hear it. I DIGRESS!!!!

ANYWAYS…I bought a mountain bike this weekend on not a TOTAL whim but an at least semi-whim…like a whim that blew its load early in the day and couldn’t get it up for the afternoon romp.  There is a race June 11^th that involves bikes that AGAIN someone mentioned to me at the Maniac Mudder and sold me in about 45 seconds.  So I purchased a Trek Gary Fisher HiFi Plus 29-er…nope don’t know what any of those words mean all I know is its pretty!  So I realized many many things in the course of now owning this machine.  #1 I am not in the kind of shape I thought I was.  Riding a bike for sport is nothing NOTHING like riding your bike growing up.  It turns out riding your bike for sport is really REALLY hard.  #2 you need those padded shorts.  My lady parts are NOT happy with me.  They are NOT happy at all.  #3 the phrase “it's like riding a bike” applies ONLY to things that you have absolutely no idea how to do despite the fact at one point in your life you were able to do something that resembled them.  For example let’s say when you were 12 you liked to blow soap bubbles.  The phrase “Oh it’s like riding a bike” could be applied if 18 years later someone asked you to chemically engineer dish soap that could be used without water in zero gravity  conditions for NASA so that astronauts can have clean dishes and you stupidly have spent the last 18 years mastering the art of basket weaving instead of getting your doctorate in chemical engineering…in that case the  phrase is applicable because in a very long winded manner I am here to tell you kid bike riding is NOTHING like adult mountain bike riding.  The final thing that I learned this weekend is that I have a new love and it is in fact mountain bike riding. 

I spent all weekend on and off of (against my will and by the hands of gravity and poor balance) my new toy.  I took him to DC for Memorial Day and rode around the mall re-visiting the monuments and watching the DC Memorial Day parade.  Pat Sajak was there…it was a big deal.  Then I headed over to Arlington National Cemetery to pay my respects to section 60 and have myself a good emotional moment.  If you’ve never been…I pity you.  I don’t care where you live or what your views are…pay your respects.

Natural Born athlete

Listen…I am NOT a natural born athlete.  I am not one of those people to whom physicality comes naturally.  You can certainly ask anyone who has seen me do anything for the first time to verify that fact.  Ask ANYONE who has seen me on a step mill EVER. Not once have I step milled (yup it’s a verb) and NOT tripped or caught my big floppy toe.  Ask any of the people who have seen me run into any of the various obtrusive pieces of stationary globo gym equipment while just walking to the water fountain…like the BIG stuff the hammer strength stuff that doesn’t move.  Ask Jake or Alan, who witnessed me max out my vertical jump that one time, how un-graceful and un-poetic each attempt was.  I am not a natural born athlete.  I thought about it once, (I think…only once because I tend to ruminate a little SHOCKING) my short comings, and I felt that over thinking this one would more than likely force me into another genre of habitual past times like collecting beanie babies or something far more mundane and sedimentary and less well…dangerous…and I came to a clear realization.

I’m not a natural born athlete.  I was born to be heavy, I was born to be slow, I was born to procrastinate, and I was born to under achieve or get by on the bare minimum.  I know that.  I have been in my head and I have seen my own habits and bore witness to my own methods.  I am not a natural born athlete.  Everything I do is hard for me.  Every time I run I’m taxed.  Every time I swing a kettle-bell, power clean 155#, walk up walls, pull up, push down, jump over…it’s difficult and I want to stop.  I am not a natural born athlete.  I beat myself mentally before I start.  I think of ways to give up mid stride.  I don’t see progression.  I have to practice.  I have to fail…a LOT.  I have to do things over and over and over and over.  I have to drag myself sometimes…most times.  I get angry with myself multiple times in every workout.   I am not a natural born athlete.  I know I have limits I face them daily.  I know that when I get home today and strap on my pack that it’s going to hurt and its going to wear on me and I will struggle up hills and  over rocks.  I am not a natural born athlete.  I am not particularly good at anything but I do all of these things despite how familiar I am with just that fact.  I am not a natural born athlete, but I disregard that handicap I perform as best as I can…that’s, I guess, what makes me an athlete.

Another talent to add to my resume

I am pretty sure that if I treat this race like a day in the life of a nanny, I am going to be just fine.....Anyone ever take 3 kids under the age of 4 to Disneyland? Have to carry them everywhere? Squirming impatiently in line for rides while you struggle to keep them in your grips? Tired, cranky, thirsty, hungry, WHINY....psssh. Carrying a sandbag up and down hills is nothing. At least it won't talk back.

I discovered a new talent of mine today while walking with my little glamazon. I managed to hold her while wearing my 50# pack hovering to pee in a beachside restroom. AND I managed to get my lululemon tights on and off. Yep. That is a talent if I do say so.

I got a good walk in today, searched out all the hills (I swear it felt like I walked uphill the entire time) and guess I covered about 5 miles. I purposely did not bring myself water, even though it was rather hot and humid. Figured at some point during the race I will have to suffer for a while without water, so why not practice a bit? Well, I will admit that I drank my little glamazons water out of her sippy cup. Yep, nanny of the year nominee over here. She was just dumping it all over herself anyway. Hehe

It's Mental

I made an executive decision on Monday night that Tuesday had to be a yoga day. Crossfitting 5 days in a row and beating myself up all weekend hiking, running, what have you took a bit of a toll on my body. Joints are sore, muscles are tweaked. I made the mistake of glancing at our daily wod Tuesday.....10! Bear complex, pullups and situps. UGGGGGHHHH. Probably one of my favorite workouts ever. Yes, that is how sick I am. But I stuck to my guns, listened to my body and did bikram yoga.

Talk about a mental challenge. I have been quite absent from practicing yoga for the last few months (like 3 or more!) which is absolutely terrible. I used to practice about 3 days a week before joining crossfit. Well, let me tell you about demoralizing and how my body pretty much gave me the big FU during the hour and a half struggle. My yoga brain no longer exists. Poses I used to rock, no longer happened so easily. I was not accepting what my body could give that day. I was staring at everyone else trying to compete with them. Stillness between poses was very difficult, non existent at times.....at one point I totally felt like a crossfitter that was stripping her shirt off and trying to pace around my mat, like I would shake out my hands during a wod and pick up the heavy weight again to get a few more reps. But, through forcing myself to go back to yoga, I realized my weaknesses and how I have been neglecting my body in very important ways. Stretching is necessary after all the abuse I put myself through. So, I will be heading back to yoga at least once a week from now until Death Race day. Not only for the healing of my body, but of my mind too.

To quote my roomie, who is an amazing personal trainer, crossfit instructor and fitness model....."It takes BALLS to rest." God, I struggle to rest, but after my demoralizing yoga workout Tuesday and the fact that my body is SOORRREEE.....I took a complete rest day Wednesday. I feel refreshed, mentally and physically. I am looking forward to the Tough Mudder race this weekend with my friends. A 12 mile obstacle course race through the mountains of Snow Valley. I have been brainstorming with Katy about stuff we will need/want our support crew to have for us at the race. Any ideas you guys have for us would be awesome! I have gotten to know some of my fellow death racers (somewhat local) and have made plans to meet up for some excursions on the weekends. It's been so great to meet people, create friendships, talk about workouts, encourage one another, make game plans about teamwork to survive and overcome the race! IT IS GETTING EXCITING FOLKS!!!!

Well...alright then.

Yesterday was not a good day...this is not going to be a "funny" post...my workout kind of hurt me a lot and I'm not sure why it was really no different than the things I have been doing.  It WAS however 900% humidity and 90 degrees so that may have contributed but I got "broke off" it was a little de-moralizing and I am soups crabs about it.

WARM UP
10 minutes 80# sand bag turkish get ups
( I only got like 15 i think)

FOR TIME:
50 - 50# step ups
5 - scotty bobs with 25#
40 - 50# step ups
4 - scotty bobs with 25#
30 - 50# step ups
3 -scotty bobs with 25#
20 - 50# step ups
2 - scotty bobs with 25#
10 - 50# step ups
1 - scotty bobs with 25#
20 - 50# step ups
2 - scotty bobs with 25#
30 - 50# step ups
3 - scotty bobs with 25#
40 - 50# step ups
4 - scotty bobs with 25#
50 - 50# step ups
5 - scotty bobs with 25#

run 5 miles through terrain....

I'm going to chalk it up to I KNOW you can't have great days every day and I KNOW that despite what I think in my head I do in fact have limits and I am NOT in fact a terminator EVEN though people have been telling me my whole life that I look like that broad...which honestly has gotten old over the past 20 years...SHEEESH I am in a bad mood I am goign to need someone to bake and fed ex me cup-cakes IMMEDIATELY or Loo is going to have to send me more pics of our mini Glamazon in training Emerson...OH MAN you guys should bug her about posting pics of Emerson up here she is like...UGGGG the cutest thing SEE ok I feel a little better but thats becaue I'm sitting down.  Sorry for the snooze fest I just ain't feeling it today.

Donald Trump would say....

YOU'RE FIRED!!!!! Lets face facts folks. I am not the most diligent or committed about blogging. If this was my real job and how I made my money, lets hope I would do better. I am definitely a slacker. I just don't enjoy writing as much as Katya, she is WAY BETTER at entertaining you all.

So I am kinda feeling the same way as Katya.....where did May go? And how do we have only 5 weeks left before the race? I too have been watching training videos, reading articles on the previous death racers and basically want to vomit all the time. I feel like a slacker, but I swear I am training. It just doesn't seem extreme or crazy enough....but can we really be prepared for what they are going to throw at us? After receiving an email from the Death Race staff this week, I think not. It is going to be a mindset to finish and survive. There is no way to really train for the unknown head of us. So far I do know that we will need goggles and a Dixon Ticonderoga #2 lead pencil. The beginning of the gear list.

My training seems like it is not enough, but this is what I have managed to accomplish in the last week or so....Hiking 12 miles with my 50# pack through a canyon, either pack walks or daily runs with the stroller and dog (I got called a MILF the other day!!!), after work I do daily crossfit wods which I now do guys rx weight whenever possible and sometimes double up on wods when I can. Even though I feel exhausted and worn out from working and training all the time, I managed to PR all of my lifts this week. Very proud of that. I am feeling stronger, my endurance is better, I just feel like I can last and push myself through more.

Today started with a bit of an unmotivated attitude. I was feeling a bit sorry for myself I guess....my leg is a little banged up at the moment (just a sore ankle and knee courtesy of my previously ruptured achilles and weak calf muscle) and my right shoulder/pectoral muscle is still sore from my random muscle spasm I experienced this past week at crossfit. Ya, I don't like to tell Katya about my injuries either. Surprise! But I got my butt to an early crossfit class to be welcomed by the exact workout that I needed to do. In my mind I was going to do Murph if it was a bad one and then go for a decent hike carrying lots of fun and random objects. The daily WOD was a partner workout. Perform an 800m buddy carry (I had a girl partner who weighed 135# and couldn't carry me. Yay extra work! No seriously, YAY!) Then complete 100 burpee box jumps 100 OHSquats 100 Dumbbell Snatches 100 Ninja Rolls. One partner works while one partner does a farmers carry about 150m. I got a lot of reps in and got to do farmers carries. Finished the wod with a 400m sprint. Got a lot of work in and felt great doing it. Felt so great that I decided to head to the stairs and hills in CDM and created an aggressive workout that once I started to do, realized it would probably take me all day to complete. Like at least 5 hours, so I modified it. Original plan was take 10 trips on each of the 3 hills and 3 sets of stairs (about 100-130 steps) wearing my 50# pack and carrying either a 60# sandbag or 40# sand bucket on each trip. BAHAHAHHAHA. I am funny. That was a great thought. The hills are a lot longer and steeper than I remembered. And in case you never tried to carry all that extra weight around up and down hills, bobbing and weaving through beach goer traffic, it really kinda sucks. First hill I did 10 trips with that stupid 60# sandbag and wearing my pack. My forearms felt all the farmers carries from my crossfit workout after heading down the hill the first round. On to hill #2 and I lugged that 40# bucket of gravel up and down 10 times. Ridiculous bruises on my legs and my traps were pretty much done. Did I mention I walked a total of probably 2 miles to and from my car and hills with all this nonsense. Yep, 10 trips on 2 hills seemed just fine for me today. I got a ton of stares and was asked by many people what I am training for.....everyone I spoke to said it seemed crazy, but I looked pretty bad ass moving up and down those hills. As terrible as it felt doing it, I guess I looked good at least. Hahaha.

One thing is for sure, hiking up and down those hills and stairs is going to help in the long run. I will be able to carry extra weight like the big boys. Count on it. I don't like that I had to modify my workout today, so I plan on attacking all the hills and stairs again soon. Like tomorrow.

Google it...

5 weeks seems like a really long time from now but I'm pretty sure I am going to wake up tomorrow and it will be June already.  May kind of got away from me thanks to my inept ability to waste time and yet somehow stay very very busy.  I have been watching some of the videos and reading some of the blogs from the other people who are also competing in the Death Race this year and I'm not going to lie....I kind of think I'm slacking.  I don't throw tires across lakes then jump in and swim after them wearing 30# ankle weights apparently I should be.  I also don't run up ice covered mountains fireman's carrying any of my friends...I DID however run to and from my mail box (500 meters of hilly gravel) with my vacuum, a bucket with 40# of mini sandbags, a cement block, and three logs duct taped together...no not all at one time I made four trips but honestly that wasn't all that difficult.  Today I had the brilliant idea (since my "friends" decided that after the WOD and dinner last night they would surprise me with 13 cupcakes from the gourmet cupcake store here in town...ladies and gentlemen ask any of them...I ate 6 cupcakes....6 CUPCAKES!!!!  This morning was not a pretty morning for my stomach) I went and with my 50# boyfriend climbed the step mill for 10 minutes then did 10 rounds of 7 sumo dead lift high pulls (Google it) 7 hang cleans 7 push presses then 10 more minutes with Thor on the Step Mill then 5 rounds of 5 wall walks (Google them) 7 dead lifts at 155# and 20 evil wheels (you guessed it Google them) THEN 10 more minutes with my by then ex-boyfriend Thor on the step mill then 7 rounds of 10 burp-ups (Yes maybe I AM being sponsored by Google what of it) 25 air squats and 20 double unders.  Please don't anyone bring me cupcakes any more I don't want to have to do that again. 

SO I don't know if I have mentioned this but I THOUROUGHLY effing less than three (<3 = a heart work it through) my DR compadre.  I got done with my workout yesterday only to be greeted with a medium sized fed ex box that arrived to me from Huntington Beach, CA.  Inside was a stuffed animal for Larenzo, treats for Katya a book that will probs make me cry a BEAUTIFUL picture and a love note that DID make me cry...OH OH OH and only the BEST chap stick I have ever come in contact with...listen...SARAH LISTEN peeps chap stick you all need to LOOK into it!!!  She didn't warn me that she was sending me anything she just did it...she said " I really just wanted you to have that picture".  That's the kind of person I chose to battle this thing with and I couldn't be more dead sure I chose the right girl.  A reason, a season or a lifetime....she's DEFINATELY a lifetime.

this video is for Loo...this was his FIRST instict Loo i didn't even have to coa him.

No air...no air

Well…let's just start this off by stating that I am typing with one hand so don’t judge me.  I ran a 5k rugged maniac mud run this Saturday and SOMEHOW managed to jack my hand up.  How does one eff their south paw up RUNNING you ask? I can do ANYTHING if I put my mind to it.  Basically what had happened was… there was a giant wall I had to get over and in true USMC form I leapt up to get my “chicken wing” over the top and while mid air decided to SMACK the crap out of my hand on the foot sill thing they nailed to the side…idiots.  Officially however, I was running from tigers and tripped on an orphan I ended up saving from getting eaten AND infected with SARS.  It’s in the paper you can Google it.  SO I have a giant black and blue hand and you can’t see my knuckles…Loo get mad when I don’t tell her stuff and she reads about it in the blog but I think it’s funny so HA Loo! J/K HEART YOU!!! Oh and make her post her mad face hiking pic it made me happy!

The race was actually harder than I thought it was going to be.  The terrain was hilly and less forgiving then I was prepared for and it reminded me not to think so highly of myself and my athletic abilities.  It wasn’t no death race but I remember one point running through the woods thinking “wait…what's happening…it’s only a 5k”.   At one point I was running next to this dude and he says to me “this is going to sound strange but you shop where I work… at the Bloom in Stafford” … yes young man that did in fact sound very strange and I’m not wearing a shirt right now so maybe you could have waited for some other opportunity to make me feel weird.  Now I am going to have to make awkward conversation with some person who works at my grocery store…GREAT just what I want in my already overly articulated extremely verbalized life…GREAT! Has anyone else noticed that we talk less and less about what we have been doing as far as training and more about whatever the hell we feel like now? This open forum where I can talk and none of you can talk back is kind of nice…I think in my next relationship I will blog instead of conduct 2 way comms with my partner.

Sunday I took my ruck out to Rag Mountain.  I loaded up Thor and water and snacks and off I went.  Never mind the rain.  Nevermind the mud and the rocks and the fact that traversing in a winding manner up a mountain to save energy makes me dizzy.  It was a good time me and nature we are BFF.  I got up to 3500ft elevation.  There isn’t a lot of air up there turns out but I slept like a CHAMP last night.  UGGG someone just sprayed me with body spray and it got into my mouth…these broads here are maniacs. 

It is mid May…that means we are about 5 weeks from go time.  I realized yesterday that Loo and I have talked (via text) every day since February (We have not actually spoken on the phone despite the fact that her purse calls me all the time.  We have an emergency action plan set up and that is the ONLY time we plan to make that call…so far we haven’t had to implement it and we hope it never comes to that).  I am excited to re-meet her.  I think it will be quite the experience when she trots off that plane and it’s like we have known each other for a millennium.  I can hear us now trying to get a word in edgewise about training and what to pack and OMG I’m so excited and I’m going to puke I’m so scared and what are we going to wear after the race and did you remember your Gerber if not I have an extra one…we need a camera crew. 

We are Siamese if you Please...

So we figured it out.  Loo and I are actually Siamese Glamazon twins that were separated in the womb…then her Siamese (is that PC?) Glamazon fetus was cryogenically frozen for 2 years while mine was fully gestated and birthed.  They were trying to throw us off the scent but we in fact FIGURED it out so ha HAAAA science you can’t trick us…or ya know our parents either HA we know!  I say this not because we are built like almost the same (which we are) or that we KIND of look the same (which we think we do maybe like…the two times we have seen each other in real life one was blurry and the other there was tequila) not even because we like the same music, turns of phrase, stupid ideas and carrot cake but the fact that we run little life parallel on the regular.  We had shitty days today.  We are crabby and pissy and in general puss faces.  I look like ASS today I forget when the last time I washed my hair was really its jut SO damn taxing washing your hair that I don’t feel like doing it on a regular basis.  I have a TERRIBLE workout on the horizon and I have peed 19 times today…my office keeps count.  I was told yesterday I'm going to Belgium so i need a passport STAT...OH and let’s not forget to mention that we are not even CLOSE to our wounded warriors Project goal amount and coming here shortly I will start calling people out…left off this list of NON supporters will be my dad, Sarah, Karen, Deb, Ben, Sean Connery, Adele, Mike something and if I forgot your name its because I took Dramamine last night and I’m really dumb now.  ANYWAYS everything has gotten on me nerves today…can I tell you people that I sat in a meeting this morning a VTC to be accurate where in 8 people gathered together in a group to argue over the wording of lesson objectives for a critical thinking course.  LITERALLY (I’m glad everyone was on the phone because I was flipping them all off) we went around and around about mutha effing SEMANTICS what is the best way to say “Extract information of value from special signals metadata gathered by tactical collection systems (or “tactical collectors”)” I gotta tell ya that’s not it..if I have to read the sentence 3 times to understand what it means and I have been in this job field for going on 12 years (HOLY EFF IM OLD) then it’s NOT worded well and it was probably worded better the FIRST time someone wrote it down.  Then…THEN after the meeting everyone who was AT the meeting emailed everyone ELSE at the meeting with their thoughts on the meeting….WHERE AM I!!!! OK I’m done let’s talk about training.

TODAY I have to complete the following many things:

Warm up: run 1 mile

Training: 

1.       10 rounds of sprint 30 seconds rest 30 seconds

2.       4 rounds of barbell complex (85,95,105,115#) and hip mobility drill http://mtnathlete.com/subpage_details.php?subpage_ID=115&page_ID=14

3.       5 rounds of 4Xbench press increase each round until 3X is hard but doable and 5X y+l http://mtnathlete.com/subpage_details.php?subpage_ID=358&page_ID=14

4.       5 rounds of 3X Curtis P increasing weight 8X ghd situps

http://mtnathlete.com/subpage_details.php?subpage_ID=267&page_ID=14

5.       4 rounds of 10Xdeadlift @135# 15 sec jane fonda http://mtnathlete.com/subpage_details.php?subpage_ID=377&page_ID=14

No I have no idea why I just do what Im told….

I am under the bus

Thank you to all those people who are throwing me under the bus right now.....You dedicated blog followers, my friends that feel neglected, and most of all Katya, who now wants me to share my embarassing funny story. My story just goes to show that I AM TIRED from training and life in general. Barely keeping my head above water on most days. Pretty sure we have been out of toilet paper for a few days now at my apartment, I have no clue what the date is and when my bills are due, showering is not a priority over sleep on some days, but at least I am wearing clean clothes. I apologize for my lack of dedication to the blog and will do my best to pick up the slack. I have come to realize that I need to neglect my friends even more for the next two months because any attempts at being social for even a few hours seems to derail me from my routine and getting everything accomplished in a timely fashion. But I promise you, that I am not slacking on training. All I do is work and train. Now my crossfit friends and coaches are calling me the crazy girl who is doubling up on wods, doing extra prowler pushes and rope climbs and running/hiking after workouts. Even on my "day off" Saturday while wine tasting with friends, I felt the need to train. If you consider chinese fire drills at stop lights wearing storm trooper helmets and sprinting after the limo that left you a workout. And don't forget to add indian leg wrestling marines as well. I do that stuff because I am me. There is no other explanation. I have to be doing something right though because I managed to get myself recruited to play roller derby. Two girls drove by me while at the ATM the other day, they circled around, parked and then approached me about joining their team. I looked strong and like I could take people out.....why yes, yes I can. Might have found my new hobby. Post race of course.

Okay, so on to my story. Just as Katya was exhausted and brain dead in class texting me all about it yesterday, I was in the same boat. I told her how I was struggling to keep my eyes open driving to my doctors appointment. Don't worry, I am not sick or hurt. Just a regular girlie checkup with my ob/gyn. (Sorry for those guys who I made completely uncomfortable with where this story is going) Being the last appointment of the day, I figure they would be behind schedule, but would make this a quick checkup and want to get out of there as soon as possible. I found a comfy couch in the empty waiting room, did the usual paperwork and was doing the classic head nod to startled state of being awake for about 10 minutes before being called back. The back office was bustling, people trying to get their last minute charts done, seemed a bit unorganized to me. I was quickly thrown in a room with those fashionable paper gowns, told to get all set up on the table and the doctor would be in to see me shortly. This is where guys just won't understand the humor of the story. First of all, those paper "gowns" are just nonsensical. To attempt to keep them on while sitting on those damn short half reclined tables where your legs dangle at an awkward angle that makes your back hurt is nearly impossible. And they blow in the breeze of the air conditioning vent that is always directly above the table. Why do they keep those rooms so frigid? To keep you even more uncomfortable? Like the thought of what is going to happen at the appointment ahead of you isn't uncomfortable enough. So what do I do at this point you ask? I fall asleep. Like caught myself snoring a few times and did the scrambling I may be falling in my dream so let's try to grab on to the paper on the table for dear life kinda sleeping. And then I was out cold, only to be woken up by a nurse who found me sleeping as she was doing a check to see if the rooms were set up for the next day of appointments. I was asleep for an hour, the doctor left without seeing me (as well as everyone else left the office except for the nurse who found me) and I basically was about to be locked in the office for the night. Thanks god for that diligent nurse who saved me from spending the night in my new paper jammies in the doctors office. Great times, hope you got a good laugh out of it. Just goes to show that I AM TIRED!!!!

That had nothing to really do with training, but that's what Katya wanted me to share with you all. LOL. On a side note, I too have adopted a new silly 80# sandbag for turkish getups. There is no doubt that I need to be video taped attempting to do them because I pretty much felt like I was being tackled by a small child for 10 minutes straight the other day. Talk about entertaining.

I promise I will post more about training, but I still need to give an amazing blog shout out to my team mom and friend Ms. Karen Hoover. She and I participated in her first crossfit event last Friday night "Helen meets Grace". I am so very proud of her for attacking the workout, pushing herself to a new level and being an awesome partner! Did I mention she was the oldest woman doing women's RX weight? She is a rockstar, has the most heart out of anyone that will ever compete, and has the biggest heart to support her friends, like me, while training for the death race. Congratulations on finishing your first crossfit competition Karen!

Groceries!

HOLY CRAP Loo has the BEST story to tell everyone! It made me laugh embarrassingly loudly for an uncomfortable amount of time.  I am not really going to type all that much today as my hands are shot.  Yesterday was a little rough as far as training went.  Thor and I split up unfortunately not before I had a child with him out of wed-lock.  The child weighs 80# and look eerily similar to an old military sea bag that was filled with wood pellets.  My son and I did 10 minutes of sand bag Turkish get-ups yesterday (http://mtnathlete.com/subpage_details.php?subpage_ID=403&page_ID=14) followed by 10 rounds of: 30 X step-ups (40#) 5X thrusters (65#) 7X ankles to bar 15 KB swings (24kg) with 30 seconds of rest between rounds…THEN I ran 5 miles up and down the STUPID street which Deb, Alan, Jake, uh…Dayspring can tell you is up hill the WHOLE way back.  Needless to say when I went to class at night to learn all about using MS word 07 (something I had mastered like 3 years ago but whatever it gets me BAH so I look confused all the time and pretend to have trouble when asked to make labels and copy and paste  paragraphs).  I also woke up this AM a little less smart...walked aroudn in small circles for 10 minutes this morning trying to figure out how to get dressed...not what to wear but HOW to get dressed.

I would now like to briefly discuss the positive effects all this training has had on my life and the ways in which it benefits me and those around me.  Firstly…all of the participants in Friday Family Funday get to experience a little bit of fun with sandbags and gravel hills so that’s always a plus.  The people I work with get to ask me all day everyday “Katya what the hell are you eating that smells like that?”.  My car is CONSTANTLY filled with the most ridiculous items…meh well we all know that’s not really all that different than before and lastly I can now carry DOZENS of bags of groceries up the two flights of stairs to the barn in one trip…thanks farmers carries…you ARE useful don’t let anyone tell you different!

thats right one trip!

Blue Balls...I mean Bells...

OK OK OK OK OK I have had a RIDICULOUS week in NC in the field playing war with a bunch of other kids...ya know good times and VERY not at all exhausting.  I managed to do some decent play time activities whilst down in the dirty dirty though.  There are some bravo alpha tank trails on this base and it TURNS out that they are even MORE bravo alpha when you strap on a ruck and jog them in intervals.  You guys can sense sarcasm right? Like...sarcasm translates through blogger I think...I think it's an app or something.  ANYWAYS I digress which I know is shocking (what about that time... did you all catch it that time?) The weather is pretty sweet right now I'm SURE it won't last but I will try not to be a negative Nancy and just enjoy it while it lasts.  I have been officially yelled at by Sarah about not being as frequent with my blogging but I have to tell you...and I am pretty sure that I eluded to this fact early on in this process...I'm just not that interesting that often.  There are only so time you can read about the stupid stupid things I have been carrying up and down the roads how many time is swing around the cannon balls with handles or how many times I bang dumb bells on my knees when I carry them while I'm walking OR how awesome my bruised knees look after running for a mile stopping to do 100 burpees on hardball running a mile stopping to do 100 burpees on hardball running a mile and THEN stopping to do 100 burpees on hardball...yea my knees are SUPER sexy right now...like if I could choose to take myself out on a date I would request to myself that I wear a skirt or shorts so that I would be able to see my dates (me) knees while out in public. 

Before I Headed down to NC I DID receive in the mail a super fancy present to myself to which I have attached a picture below...I also because I was SO excited about my new toys donned a VERY matchy matchy outfit to take them out on their virgin WOD.  Yea...that's right I dress up for my Kettle bells there is NOTHING wrong with that and that is NOT at all while I m STILL single.

STUFF I LOVE

Some things I love...

The Horse Shoe letters that spell out the title of my Barn Cross Training Facility courtesy of my MORE than supportive adoptive family The Nicholsons

My first cup of AM Coffee

and...well..coffee

Real Girls...

Real girls buy cute shoes to match their outfits...we buy shoes for traction and long term comfort with the perfect balance of stability and light weight, quick-drying material.  Real girls buy hand bags with adequate storage for lip gloss, cell phones, wallet and sunglasses...we buy an externally framed ruck that can hold up to 70lbs of gear and fits a 22-36" torso...something with pockets for knives, e-tools and a hydration system.  Real girls search to the perfect enamel bangles...we haul gravel in buckets.  Real girls get manicures and hand massages...we spend a few minutes a week peeling calluses and biting broken nails.  Real girls always have perfect hair...we fight with pins and headbands to keep our locks from getting in the way and come hell high water or some easily accessible scissors...we keep our hair out of our faces.  Real girls have boy friend's to dote on them...we have a 50# sand bags that we dotingly and conspicuously carry around town .  Real girls spend 25 minutes on the elliptical machine...we don't know how to spell eliptacle machine.  Real girls drink applitini's at dinner...we chug a gallon of water a day.  Real girls eat yogurt and salads and tiny elegant food...uh....we feast 8 times a day like ravenous dogs.  Real girls wake up at noon on Saturdays and Sundays ...by noon we've eaten twice, gotten our first workout in and declined at least two invites to social gatherings  that more than certainly include afternoon adult bevvies.  Real girls stay out until 2am...we can't normally make it past 2230.  Real girls have it easy...we aren't Real Girls...Glamazons...ask somebody!

No one ever accused me of being smart

HOLY EFF I learned a new word today…OK I’m lying I learned it yesterday BUT whatever you know what I mean…I digress.  Tornadic - [tawr-nad-ik, -ney-dik] adjective tor·na·do·like, adjective … I heard it on the news and made this really witty, smug comment about how people in broadcasting should really focus more on their vocational prowess so that they don’t look like idiots on live tapings of their reports…tornadic…now along with inventing fear we are inventing words…it was something like that and I felt very much better than them (I’m in a book club now so superiority comes much more naturally) for like a SECOND until I looked up the word and it turns out…[tawr-nad-ik, -ney-dik] adjective tor·na·do·like, adjective.  SO I learned a vocab lesson AS WELL as a lesson in humility.  It made start wondering, however, if Blizzardic or hurricanic or sunshinic were also words I was unaware of…they are not.  ANYWAYS so I mention this word tornadic as that can accurately describe the weather here the last two days.  We had two tornadic tornados touch down in Stafford.  One at the Wal-Mart where they made patrons stay in the middle of the store for 2 hours and one right outside of the gate at Quantico.  It’s getting kinda hectic ‘round here.  Needless to say I had to take my training indoors for safety sake and much to the dismay of my local globo I proceeded to fling things that aren’t supposed to be flung, move all their equipment around to un-standard locations of the gym…they don’t like it when I put benches over by the tread mills so that I can do sprints and decline pushups an side hurdles…they say I’m being obtrusive..or intrusive…which ever means in the way and annoying, but as most of you know I do what I want so I pretended that I couldn’t hear the complaints and continued to look really angry…for the most part people won’t talk to me if I look angry…I’m REALLY good at it…I get it from my dad. We aren’t angry people it’s just what we look like!

Today is weekly Family Funday Friday.  This is the day where I force poor civilians to come to my barn and do terrible terrible things and when they are done I feed them.  Last week I made them a turkey that I over cooked and roasted vegetables that I undercooked so everything evened out.  We spent most of the time throwing the not-cooked-enough beets into the woods which is probably why that SCARY animal that no joke sounds like a wild rabid feral child came back.  Today they don’t know it yet but we are doing 50 sand bag squat cleans – 40 I haven’t figured 40 out yets – 30 dive bombers – 20 log walking lunges – 10 burpees RUN TO THE MAIL BOX 10 burpees – 20 log walking lunges – 30 dive bombers – 40 I haven’t figured 40 out yets – 50 sand bag squat cleans….YAY!!!!

This week has not been as intense as I would have liked but I had house guests then homework.  I have gotten “friended” (dude seriously is that an OFFICIAL verb in Webster’s yet?) by a few people from the race.  It’s nice to know there are people all over doing dastardly things alongside Loo and I.  We got one article published in the Aegis in MD we are both mentioned so we are hoping it count but we are also trying to write a submission for the CrossFit journal as well.  I honestly have this sneaking suspicion that whether we get an article published or not we are going to have to push the hay bale up the ravine…like I feel like there will be some stupid trick that Andy and the rest of the Peak sadists came up with like…oh you had to have the article published in Calibri font and it HAD to be printed on the 4^th page of a paper made entirely out of lanolin.  NO I don’t really know what lanolin is so shut up…I think its oil right but it COMEs from sheep’s wool or something nm FORGET it you guys are SO judgmental!!!