Saturday, April 30, 2011

STUFF I LOVE

Some things I love...

The Horse Shoe letters that spell out the title of my Barn Cross Training Facility courtesy of my MORE than supportive adoptive family The Nicholsons



My first cup of AM Coffee


and...well..coffee

Real Girls...

Real girls buy cute shoes to match their outfits...we buy shoes for traction and long term comfort with the perfect balance of stability and light weight, quick-drying material.  Real girls buy hand bags with adequate storage for lip gloss, cell phones, wallet and sunglasses...we buy an externally framed ruck that can hold up to 70lbs of gear and fits a 22-36" torso...something with pockets for knives, e-tools and a hydration system.  Real girls search to the perfect enamel bangles...we haul gravel in buckets.  Real girls get manicures and hand massages...we spend a few minutes a week peeling calluses and biting broken nails.  Real girls always have perfect hair...we fight with pins and headbands to keep our locks from getting in the way and come hell high water or some easily accessible scissors...we keep our hair out of our faces.  Real girls have boy friend's to dote on them...we have a 50# sand bags that we dotingly and conspicuously carry around town .  Real girls spend 25 minutes on the elliptical machine...we don't know how to spell eliptacle machine.  Real girls drink applitini's at dinner...we chug a gallon of water a day.  Real girls eat yogurt and salads and tiny elegant food...uh....we feast 8 times a day like ravenous dogs.  Real girls wake up at noon on Saturdays and Sundays ...by noon we've eaten twice, gotten our first workout in and declined at least two invites to social gatherings  that more than certainly include afternoon adult bevvies.  Real girls stay out until 2am...we can't normally make it past 2230.  Real girls have it easy...we aren't Real Girls...Glamazons...ask somebody!

Friday, April 29, 2011

No one ever accused me of being smart

HOLY EFF I learned a new word today…OK I’m lying I learned it yesterday BUT whatever you know what I mean…I digress.  Tornadic - [tawr-nad-ik, -ney-dik] adjective tor·na·do·like, adjective … I heard it on the news and made this really witty, smug comment about how people in broadcasting should really focus more on their vocational prowess so that they don’t look like idiots on live tapings of their reports…tornadic…now along with inventing fear we are inventing words…it was something like that and I felt very much better than them (I’m in a book club now so superiority comes much more naturally) for like a SECOND until I looked up the word and it turns out…[tawr-nad-ik, -ney-dik] adjective tor·na·do·like, adjective.  SO I learned a vocab lesson AS WELL as a lesson in humility.  It made start wondering, however, if Blizzardic or hurricanic or sunshinic were also words I was unaware of…they are not.  ANYWAYS so I mention this word tornadic as that can accurately describe the weather here the last two days.  We had two tornadic tornados touch down in Stafford.  One at the Wal-Mart where they made patrons stay in the middle of the store for 2 hours and one right outside of the gate at Quantico.  It’s getting kinda hectic ‘round here.  Needless to say I had to take my training indoors for safety sake and much to the dismay of my local globo I proceeded to fling things that aren’t supposed to be flung, move all their equipment around to un-standard locations of the gym…they don’t like it when I put benches over by the tread mills so that I can do sprints and decline pushups an side hurdles…they say I’m being obtrusive..or intrusive…which ever means in the way and annoying, but as most of you know I do what I want so I pretended that I couldn’t hear the complaints and continued to look really angry…for the most part people won’t talk to me if I look angry…I’m REALLY good at it…I get it from my dad. We aren’t angry people it’s just what we look like!
Today is weekly Family Funday Friday.  This is the day where I force poor civilians to come to my barn and do terrible terrible things and when they are done I feed them.  Last week I made them a turkey that I over cooked and roasted vegetables that I undercooked so everything evened out.  We spent most of the time throwing the not-cooked-enough beets into the woods which is probably why that SCARY animal that no joke sounds like a wild rabid feral child came back.  Today they don’t know it yet but we are doing 50 sand bag squat cleans – 40 I haven’t figured 40 out yets – 30 dive bombers – 20 log walking lunges – 10 burpees RUN TO THE MAIL BOX 10 burpees – 20 log walking lunges – 30 dive bombers – 40 I haven’t figured 40 out yets – 50 sand bag squat cleans….YAY!!!!
This week has not been as intense as I would have liked but I had house guests then homework.  I have gotten “friended” (dude seriously is that an OFFICIAL verb in Webster’s yet?) by a few people from the race.  It’s nice to know there are people all over doing dastardly things alongside Loo and I.  We got one article published in the Aegis in MD we are both mentioned so we are hoping it count but we are also trying to write a submission for the CrossFit journal as well.  I honestly have this sneaking suspicion that whether we get an article published or not we are going to have to push the hay bale up the ravine…like I feel like there will be some stupid trick that Andy and the rest of the Peak sadists came up with like…oh you had to have the article published in Calibri font and it HAD to be printed on the 4th page of a paper made entirely out of lanolin.  NO I don’t really know what lanolin is so shut up…I think its oil right but it COMEs from sheep’s wool or something nm FORGET it you guys are SO judgmental!!!

Thursday, April 28, 2011

I love my ruck

I love my ruck. I love my ruck. I love my ruck. That's what I keep telling myself everyday. And you know what? I kinda am starting to have some sort of positive feelings for my ruck. Not love by any means, but we are moving in the right direction. I no longer view him as a ruck, but a common accessory to be worn and included in everyday activities. Today was another day that I embraced the stares as I trekked along pushing the stroller and wearing my 50# ruck like it was supposed to be there with me. At the post office. And Trader Joes. Yep, it's normal. I have finally figured out the fine line of balance on how to hold the dog leash, stroller and bend down to pick up dog poop. Today I even wrestled with a squirmy 9 month old in the restroom stall to change a blowout diaper, all while wearing my ruck. Add that to my nanny resume. Don't get me wrong, I still dread putting him on for those long hikes on the weekends and it takes me a few miles to warm up to him, but we are working on growing together.

This week has been another one to roll with the punches and take what you can get. My work schedule was all over the place and I had to work late nights, which meant I had to get my butt to the gym to crossfit at 6am (and head to work a little late) before working 12 plus hour days. At first I didn't think I could handle another week of being out of routine, but it has proven to be another physical and mental challenge that I have attacked and succeeded at. I told myself after playing college volleyball that required many, many early morning workouts (like setting volleyballs at 4:30am is fun or functional), I would not voluntarily torture my creaky, beat up body with workouts unless absolutely necessary. Well, it was absolutely necessary. So there I was throwing weight around with those few dedicated crossfitters at 6am. By Wednesday morning I was sitting at the edge of my bed after my alarm went off, debating whether to give my aching back a rest and put my head back on my pillow for another hour where it deserved to be, or get my sweat on. Then I remembered one thing....Katy is suffering over there on the east coast. THANK YOU KATY. I heart you. I got dressed, raced to the gym without eating breakfast because of my bedside motivational issues, only to see Murph written on the wipe board. Seriously? I thought it was a joke. For those that don't crossfit, Murph is the benchmark workout of run 1 mile, complete 100 pullups 200 pushups 300 air squats, run 1 mile. I actually voluntarily attempted Murph a few weeks ago, before one of my hikes. But not at 6am. Did I mention that I chose to eat a ginormous hunk of carrot cake for dinner the night before? Yep, that seemed like a great option and fuel for an early workout. When you add all those factors up, you know what you get? A new PR! Yeah buddy! Does this mean I can eat carrot cake for dinner every night???

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

uggg....don't bother this one is boring

OK seriously I had this really clever blog Idea while I was falling asleep last night and I was POSITIVE that it was so good that there was no way I could forget what its premise was today but I in fact over estimated my abilities to retain thoughts so you are going to be stuck with what will likely be a dry rant about the goings on of my day…LUCKY ALL OF YOU!!!!
Happy be-lated birthday Easter Bunny I hope you got everything you asked for which if all you asked for was the resurrection of Jesus Christ then…well…you win!  I recovered on Sunday like Loo I had some adult bevvies Saturday night in celebration of the race so Sunday I felt fluffy and lethargic (I know words!) I was going to head north to see my family but after  taking me LITERALLY an hour to travel 1 mile on I-95 I changed my mind…I don’t deal well with traffic and I was starting a new job position Monday so I had to be up dumb early…and I mean DUMB early.
Monday I pretended to be an adult for a little while…it was easier than I thought actually.  If you furrow your brow in meetings that you are OBVIOUSLY not prepared to sit in on and nod at appropriate increments…meh…people think you’re listening;  little did they know I was just sitting there thinking about candy…man when was the last time you just sat around and thought about candy. 
After work I went to the globo and ran too hard for 30 minutes as a warm up for the dreadful KB WOD that crushed my soul the first time I did it at CrossFit Central in Austin Texas.  It consists of 50 KB swings, 40 one arm KB snatches, 30 KB clean and press, 20 lunges with a KB pass , 10 burpees run a 400m then 10,20,30,40,50…yea and you have to finish it in under 20 minutes it makes you dry heave ask Jake.  OH yea and  I have had the esteemed pleasure of punishing a friend of mine for the last week…it’s been nice having someone suffer with me and I’m in better shape than he is so it makes me look way cooler.  I would have beaten him in the 10k Saturday had I not taken the scenic route.  He technically finished two minutes faster than I did but I had to do some re-calculating on my internal GARMIN Nuvi… I make certain he is aware of that fact.  ANYLOO (yea...I’m adopting a new term in honor of my Glamazon in arms) after work there was a WOD then a trip to Trader Joes a.k.a. the happiest place on earth and home to make dinner wicked late and try to find a channel that was NOT talking about the effing royal wedding…way over it…in fact I don’t think I was ever under it so...
Today I decided I am going to do dead-lifts because I got new socks yesterday and I want to wear them.  I am not actually sure what the work out will be but there will be dead lifting and farmers carrying and other nonsense.  I will keep ya posted.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Rolling with the punches

It was bound to happen sooner or later. I had a rough week, where nothing was going my way, I just couldn't manage to find time to get things done and felt like I didn't get enough workouts in. June gloom is upon us a little early in Southern California. For those of you that don't know what that means....the marine base layer hangs around off shore and creates this foggy, drizzly, cool, cloudy, unmotivating weather every morning that tends to burn off into sunshine by 2 in the afternoon. It's just enough to make you wear warmer clothes and make you not want to get much accomplished outside.

The weather played a factor in limiting my normal walks during work hours, it's just not okay for me to be dragging my little glamazon in training around outside. To make matters worse, my nagging cold has been passed on to her now. Everyone knows how draining a sick child can be, but I have to say, she is one tough, happy baby. Ear infection and pink eye didn't slow her down much. Naps were few and far between, and there was a lot of snuggle time this last week. No naptime stepmill workouts or crazy long hikes with the stroller. I took a few full rest days from crossfit this week to work late or recover from my brutal training last weekend. Rest days are very challenging for me, but proved to be very positive and much needed. When I did workout this week, I attacked with a vengeance and felt great. By Friday, I was pretty much mentally and physically exhausted though.

While Katy was doing her crazy race on Saturday, I finally got a long workout in myself. A morning crossfit partner wod full of handstand holds, plank holds, and wall sits, while you switch through completing 100 reps of OH Squats, Ball slams and burpees. Just what I needed to get my blood flowing for my solo hike I had planned. Hiking alone is such a mental challenge for me because I definitely wanted to stop the first mile or so. I question what I am doing this for, think about how tired I am, my mind races with all the normal life tasks I should be accomplishing. Once I get past that initial wall, I am in the zone. I hiked the same route I did last week with my friend, set a goal to beat the time and made up a punishment for stopping for taking my pack off for water breaks. I was stopped by fellow hikers a few times with questions about what I was doing (which I get the same reaction of "you have got to be kidding me" like every time) but managed to cover a little over five miles in about an hour and 30 minutes I think. I felt so good when I got back to my car, that I grabbed my 2 gravel filled buckets and headed straight back to the trail. Headed uphill for .6 miles and came back down with those damn buckets swinging and scratching my legs. Stupid buckets. Crazy thing was, I felt awesome when I got back to my car. Did 6.5 miles and felt like I could do more. I am seeing improvements, feeling stronger, my hard work is paying off (and maybe there is some truth behind those dreaded rest days!)

It's only appropriate to fess up and declare my celebratory weekend shenanigans post hike. Lent was over as of Easter Sunday, but I celebrated Saturday night. Being the dedicated and sometimes silly person that I am, I chose to reboot my system for Lent. Katy and I called it Look Good Naked Ops. I gave up sweets, which meant limiting my sugar intake even though I am not a big dessert eater, cleaned up the diet, worked out like mad, and worst of all NO BOOZE. That part was a little excessive. I will not lie, it was a tough 40 days (some days I was yelling out my car window at pedestrians and bicyclists), but it reaped it's benefits tenfold. I noticed changes in my energy levels, my workouts, my body.....I feel amazing. But not so much today. I met some friends for a few drinks Saturday night to be social and celebrate, and I seriously only intended on a few, but ended up tying one on. In Classic Loo style of course. Tequila, tequila, and more tequila. There was dancing and plenty of sweating (and I mean PLENTY of sweating)....that counts as a workout, right? Fun was had by all that night, it shall not be repeated until Katy and I finish the Death Race, and it's back to serious business now. Ready for Monday and a good week of workouts ahead....

Saturday, April 23, 2011

I make mistakes...

So we have been over several things pertaining to my abilities to 1. make good decisions (tattoos, credit cards, that RIDICULOUS dresser i spent to much money on that looks cool but the drawers don't close, husbands...you get the idea) and 2. have good ideas (tattoos, that time i dyed my hair black, Bacardi L'Orange, The Peak Death Race, the RARE 10k).  Today I am going to talk about mistakes I make.  I made the mistake of AGAIN, in the same fashion I registered for the Death Race and now find myself in this predicament of having to actually DO the Peak Death race, of registering sporadically for the RARE CrossFit  10K.  It was a TOTAL impulse buy...it was one of those adds that popped up on the side of my Facebook page much like gum and flavored chap stick at the grosh (grosh=grocery store for those of you not privy to Katya spoke...start letting me text you ... you will be a 3/3 linguist in no time).  And again as I i dooped Loo i dooped a friend of mine into registering with me...either I am really good at convincing people to be dumb with me or you all are SUCKERS!!!
SO...the day started out at 0615 on a Saturday...YAY!!!! It was raining and 40 degrees as I donned my Lululemon run speed shorts (yea they make me faster) and "Original Gangster" shirt and old newtons for the event.  I drove to F-burg, got lost OBVI and eventually wound up standing with a bib number pinned on my stomach facing at a gravel path that appeared to progress through a stupid mountain listening to a dude tell me that many horrible things were about to ensue.   
3-2-1 GO and la la la i started running.  There was a Lulu gift card at stake for the winner so i was of course aptly motivated to finish in the top 3 chicks positions.  We were all running for about a mile then they made us stop and this is where things got dumber.  "here take this kettle bell and do 100 KB swings then take that bumper plate there and go run up that mountain for two miles"  UH....ok asshole sure whatever you say i heart Lululemon stuff.  So FINE I will do the dastardly deed.  I was at this point in the 2nd place standing as far as chicks went as I can blow through some KBS.  HOWEVER that effing bumper plate was NOT the most fun i have had running up hill in mud.  Ran with that effing (just added "effing to my MS word dictionary!) thing for about 2 miles until I reached this big bill board thing...OH wait before i got to the bill board i had to run through the tunnel to Narnia which contrary to popular believe is NOT in a armoire its a flooded tunnel that goes under I-95...books lie. ANYWAYS got to the bill board and some very nice college girl that i wanted to punch in the face told me to do 100 walking lunges holding my beloved plate over my head.  The college girl did not get punched in the face ONLY because she gave me Gatorade. Got to drop the plate...and then run a 2 mile loop.  Here is where I made a mistake.  Its amazing what a wrong turn will do for a GREAT lead in a race.  5 of the top men and women including myself made a fateful wrong turn and not only lost our lead but added a mile to our distance...HOORAY!!!  We got situated ran ran ran tried to catch up made it back to the next station where they asked me politely to complete 50 burpees in the mud.  They sent us on our way with more Gatorade and that damn bumper plate and we raaaaaaaaan to the next station.  The kiddies threw a KB back at us and said "K now do 100 goblet squats wit hthe KB then pick up both the bumper plate and the KB and run to the finish line"...again...assholes.  All in All I am talking smack and it was a GREAT race and i had a blast.  RARE did a great job organizing a fun event, met soem cool people and got a good work out in.  I figure that race was the equiv of 1/16th of the Death Race so...ya know...the terror has returned.

oh...end note...next time i register for a race...will SOMEONE remind me that I am a full sized chick and I do NOT in fact wear a size small t-shirt...who are we kidding...I ain't 12.

Side side note...yea...I know that grammatically speaking my tense and active person changes like three times in this post but i am tired and cant stop eating so...Dayspring...deal with it.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

I got your junk in the trunk Loo...

I am not at ALL trying to "one up" Loo but i HAD to do a pre post about MY trunk too!! UH...OK so Deb, Sarah and Jacqueline I think maybe Mark and Jake all can attest for the state of my trunk.  New years Day I got a flat tire at CF and while looking for the magic key that unlocks my wheels I had to let the public into my trunk.  This is what we found:
A dog kennel
towing straps (I drive a Jetta)
three out of state liscence plates (NOPE can't spell license)
A full size pillow
a 100# sand filled sea bag
2X10# bumper plates
CLP (i have NO idea why...I dont think my gun has EVER been in my trunk...nor do i believe I have ever cleaned my gun...hmmm)
two samurai swords
a FULL set of Mikasa china (no really like a FULL set)
two and a half Brazilian Jiu Jitsu competition Gis
a dozen framed pictures...mostly broken, one poster size with a sailor reading "sorry girls I'm gay"
about 13 christmas tree decorations (dont tell my mom but they were mostly broken too)
a plethora of lap top computer chargers...all makes and models
6 cell phones
A pack with season 5 of Sex and the City inside
a cat litter scoop
a TON of broken glass
a broken Dell XPS
cans of cat food
1/2 a pair of Stewart Weizman snake skin strappy pumps
a travel pillow...no make that two travel pillows
a LOT of tupperware and spoons
Newtons Telecommunications Dictionary
SOMETHING sticky
spare tire
tire jack
and of course on that particular day the ONE thing that was NOT in my trunk was the magical key that unlocked my wheel

the end

I will be posting my ACTUAL post later

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Just call me the bag lady

I feel like people just gawk and stare at me with this funny look on their faces these days....What is she doing? Where is she going? Why is she carrying all that stuff? I bet some people even begin to wonder if I am homeless. It's not uncommon to see me wearing my weighted ruck walking along the streets pushing the stroller, all while carrying a diaper bag, purse and having the dog in tow. If I saw someone walking down the street like that, I would question if they were homeless. I am beginning to feel like my grandma Estee. Whenever she would come over to visit, she would have multiple bags full of goodies for everyone. A bag of treats from Malley's candy where she worked, a grocery bag full of food she wanted to try from the store, but figured we would like more, and bags of all her "new finds" from her latest shopping spree at Saks Fifth Avenue or TJmaxx. She was known as the bag lady. Now every morning when I leave my apartment, my arms are full of bags. Today I struggled to balance my coffee as I lugged 4 different bags a few blocks to my car. I am starting my functional training at 6:30am. My purse, my enormous volleyball bag full of balls and lines, my gym bag full of workout clothes just in case I make it to the gym or can squeeze in a nap time workout, and of course a bag with a change of regular clothes and such. Working with kids, you always have to be prepared for getting dirty, spit up on, peed on. It happens.

As I get to my car, I realize I need to clean out my car. Desperately. Where am I going to put all this stuff? I hardly had room for the 6 bags of groceries I bought the other day. I continue to add to the contents of my car on a daily basis, but am having a very difficult time removing them. I am pretty sure I could start living out of it at this point. It's seriously getting embarrassing. Every time I open a door, something comes falling out.....a shoe, a water bottle, a dirty sock. If anyone is wondering where that lost sock of theirs is, it maybe in the abyss I call my car. I sent a picture of my trunk to Katy this morning after I jammed the jogging stroller on top of all my stuff. What's in there you ask? My usual emergency car kit, some volleyballs and court lines, a diaper bag, a baby bjorn, 2 five gallon buckets full of 50# of gravel, my framed ruck filled with 50# of sand, a weighted backpack for anyone dumb enough to hike with me, 50# worth of dumbbells, 2 erosion sandbags weighing in at about 40# each, a george foreman grill (you never know), a bag full of old clothes on their way to goodwill. That bag of clothes has come in handy lately when I seem to forget workout clothes or my bathing suit to play volley. Yes, all of that is in my trunk. Probably not doing much good for my gas mileage these days. What's in the rest of my car? A case of water, a car seat, a stroller or two, kids toys, 3 pairs of running shoes, my ugg boots, flip flops, hiking shoes, an endless amount of dirty socks, a workout bag with gym clothes, real clothes are everywhere.....I am just trying to be prepared for anything I guess.

Looks like I am going to have to clean out my car if I think I am going to get my newly acquired wheel barrow in there. Just add it to the list.

Here comes the Bride...

Good grief….apparently I decided to make up for ALL of the things I did Not do last week yesterday and now today I am WILDLY uncomfortable.  I ran HARD for 30 minutes as my warm up very close to 4 miles...which for me is fast anything under consecutive 8 minute miles if effing fast for me...brick shit houses were not designed to MOVE.  I signed up for the Rare10K this Saturday which is like a trail race with kettle bells hiding along the way or something I’m not EXATLY sure but I have a feeling it was not one of my better ideas.  Post the run (yes I am reporting all of this out of order deal with it) I did 5 rounds of 10 barbell squat cleans with 95lbs (hurl) 10 one-armed-kettle bell snatches on each arm, 10 kettle bell–high pulls on each arm and 10 American Kettle Bell swings.  That only took oh like 45 minutes (hurl) then I walked on the step mill for 15 minutes with Thor slung over my shoulder (double hurl).  OH MY GOSH I forgot to introduce you all to Thor.  He is my new boyfriend.  We met at The Home Depot two days ago.  He is a little smaller than the guys I normally go for but I need to be open minded as all of my friends can attest my usual choice in dudes has gotten me well...divorced twice and nowhere.  He weighs about 50lbs and is kind of oblong and round, has bad posture and is only about 26 inches tall.  He isn’t in the best shape he is pretty much built like a bag of sand dropped into a pillow case then covered completely with duct tape but again…I’m trying to date outside of my normal Alpha male “type”.  So far we have been together for three days and it really isn’t going well but I am going to try to work through our problems.  He is ALWAYS making me carry him around he is pretty lazy and well…he doesn’t have any legs so I kind of have no choice.  He doesn’t talk much and every time we go to the gym people stare at him with raised eyebrows and furrowed foreheads…they judge him and I think he projects that pain back onto me…he blames me because I take him there to be ridiculed.  I know he isn’t the BEST looking boyfriend and some people think that he physically abuses me.  He has only made me almost cry once which is more than I can say for my other exes so that’s a plus right? I’m not sure how I feel about him.  Deb thinks I fake relationships sometimes…meaning I create them to be nice or polite and not to hurt other people’s feelings even if I’m not really “into” it…so maybe I am faking this one I hope not though I have been single for a while and I really think Thor could be the one.  We all know how much I like to get surprise married so who knows maybe there will be a wedding blog soon! I’m kidding Daddy…I wont marry anyone else before you meet them first I promise.

http://wwpproudsupporter.kintera.org/katyaloo?faf=1&e=4420217428

Monday, April 18, 2011

WOOOSAAA!!!!

I hit a motivational wall this past week…I was not feeling it I was not enthusiastic I was NOT “in the mood”.  It turns out that my training wooosaaa seemed to have had its period all week…It was grumpy and cranky and didn’t want to get off of the couch.  It whined for blankets and heating pads and tiger balm.  My wooosaaa tried to sneak ice cream and cupcakes into the barn (to no avail).  My wooosaaa traversed through a rollercoaster of emotions reminiscent to that of healthy Nor’easter.  It snapped at me when I asked it if it was going to go for a run with me, it cried for NO reason when this iPhone commercial for “face time” played, showing some broad telling her dude she was knocked up, it would ONLY eat perfect grapes…like ONLY PERFECT GRAPES!!! Not the ones that you find at the bottom of the bag ONLY perfect round crunchy cold grapes.  My wooosaaa would see sub-standard grapes and throw the whole bag on the ground and sit on the stool over by the window and pout about how NOTHING was going its way.  I TRIED to drag my wooosaaa out to the globo to get its heart rate up and MAYBE pump some endorphins into its little body to cheer it up, but it just bitched at me about all the tornado warnings and something else about the fact that Atlas Shrugged is too didactic for the masses and the rushed production that is currently playing in theaters was probably going to facilitate that opinion…my wooosaaa is very well read apparently and thinks its smarter than everyone. My wooosaaa rolled its eyes when I pulled out my 40# lbs pack and with the snarkiest tones said “what do you think we will be doing with THAT thing today because I’m in no mood to carry anything”.  My wooosaaa pretended to have a headache, pretended to have cramps, pretended to have trichinosis (until I reminded my wooosaaa that you can only GET trichinosis from pork and we don’t eat pork) “I’m sure I stepped in some somewhere”, my wooosaaa pretended to be too busy worrying about our homework to have time to make wheel barrow runs to get the mail even though my wooosaaa knows better than ANYONE that we put off our homework until Sunday afternoon…My wooosaaa was a little brat last week but guess what…that was last week…it’s Monday…WOOOSAAA!!!!!

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Happiness

Life is full of ups and downs....with work, relationships, family, money, your emotional state, the path to pursuing your goals, and the list will continue on forever. Things always seem to be in a period of fluctuation, and there always seems to be that one area that needs improvement. It was a few weeks ago that Katy said to me that she probably wouldn't change a darn thing about her life right now. And you know what? After this past week and weekend, I would have to totally agree with her. It feels so good to be at a point in your life when you are really truly happy and feel fulfilled. A point where you can take a step back and think that you are so blessed to be healthy, surrounded by good people, enjoy your job and just want to smile.

I had this huge, dumb grin on my face come Friday and it lasted almost all weekend long. Sure, it was Friday and the work week was just about over, but that wasn't it. I actually kind of miss my little glamazon and her parents when I don't see them for a few days. I know that the fact that my cold had taken a turn for the better and I finally had regained my energy by Wednesday helped some. I attacked some workouts during the week which contributed to my happiness. I got a pretty bad ass PR in Fight Gone Bad at my crossfit gym, did another horrid nap time weighted ruck on the stepmill/pushups/burpees workout, some KBS and pullups....the usual crossfit stuff. I am finding a new desire within myself to keep pushing my limits, which is exciting. I finished my week with some beach volleyball with great friends and we all couldn't stop talking about how excited we were for our Saturday morning volleyball we had set up. Talk about a great workout....6 competitive girls playing queen of the court beach volley in 80 degree weather for 4 hours. It was absolutely exhausting. It's full of burpees, short sprints, air squats, plyometric jumping, lunging, diving, and not to mention the mental aspect of playing the game and having ball control. I couldn't think of a better way to spend my Saturday than still showing a passion for a sport that has given me so much and to do it with amazing friends.

That's the next part of my happiness. I have managed to find and surround myself with people who are supportive, inspiring, fun and all around good people. I LOVE my beach volley girls, without them I would be lost. Seriously lost. The girls who first welcomed me when I moved out to Cali, who share my passion for volley, who are always there even though you may not see them for months, but most of all bring laughter to the point of tears every time we are together. I LOVE the peeps at my crossfit gym and look forward to seeing and competing with them everyday. The camaraderie, the encouragement, the feeling of family. Who else can you have dinner with and see a movie with on a Saturday night, and be EXCITED when you plan to do the dreaded Sevens workout with them the following morning? And you curse them as you are doing the terrible workout (pretty sure this is where I lost my smile for the weekend), but then they thoughtfully packed you paleo cookies to take on your hike you have planned post workout? Thanks Karen. Ate all the delicious cookies pre-hike! And who can you convince to not only hike with you, but wear a weighted backpack and struggle along with you? My awesome friend Alaide. She is a trooper and keeps me moving. Plus, it's great to have someone to eat with post hike when you look like Pigpen and are stumbling around because your legs aren't working properly.

So basically what I am trying to say is that my life is pretty awesome right now. Couldn't be happier and don't want to change a thing. Except maybe for the fact that I am ridiculously sore. :)

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Play Time

I have a new least favorite game to play.  It is called "Let's see what we can make Katya do" Its is apparently becoming a popular past time at my local globo gym and today was Darrell's turn.  D is a Kettle Bell instructor and yes yes I am familiar with the little cannon balls with handles but I also am familiar with the fact that a KB workout is a completely different animal than barbells, burpees, logs and wheel barrows and this morning was no different.  D showed up, true to form, with his bag of evil.  He told me that we would be performing "doubles" today which for those of you not privy to the KB jargon means we will be using one kettle bell in each hand instead of the usual one bell per two hands.  This may not sound all that terrible but I am here to explain that it makes things MUCH more painful and MUCH less comfortable.  Post my genius warm up which to my demise was hand stands to stretch out my shoulders (and in turn exhaust the two things I was about to use the most).   We started off with bottoms up squat/presses.  Let me describe this little gem to any laymen in the group.  basically you hold the KB so that the bottom is facing the ceiling.  This requires wrist stability and strength , balance and core for days...if you can imagine holding a 16kg cannon ball upside down by a tiny handle in each hand that might be the closest you can come to developing any sympathy.  after that we went on to perform 20 double kettle bell swings straight into 15 double KB jerks, straight into 15 double KB cleans and presses, 15 double KB high pulls, 15 double snatches 20 double KB see saw presses, 20 pull-ups breath....then do that again three more times.  If THAT wasn't enough "OH let's do for the last 6 minutes 15 seconds on 15 seconds off of as many one-armed KB snatches as you can!!! YAY!!!" Now I get that all that nonsense will be hard for most people to visualize BUT you can certainly take my word that I WAS WRECKED.  After we were done Darrell looked at me and laughed "your shoulders are about three times bigger than when we started" uuuuuhhh yea...we DEFINED get your swoll on today.
Next let's see what Katya can do was a 3 mile random incline 50# ruck march @ 4 MHR on the tread mill (YES I know geeeze but it's been POURING rain today so I used the tread mill...I MAKE DO QUIT GIVING ME  A HARD TIME!) I would like to inform anyone that is curious that HOLY EFFING TERRIBLE BAT MAN.  Yea...thanks Zeal that was NOT the best time I have had recently. 
I'm still waiting...patiently for the breakthrough when I can write these soliloquies about how easy training was or how I wasn't at all uncomfortable at any point during the day, ate a normal amount of food and was full, how I wake up refreshed and light as air able to move without having to drag my cement filled body around my barn or office.  I'M WAITING but I am going to go ahead and bet that Those blogs are the ones that come 2 weeks post Death Race 2011....can't wait!

Thursday, April 14, 2011

The Symphony

As the light slowly rises...the first sound is a piercing monotone beep.  The metronomic sound stirs the other instruments..lets them know it's their time to phrase measures, crescendo and accelerando.  first comes the shoulders.  Their deep languid tones set the theme for the symphony of joints. The morning silence is broken with quick pointed "pop's" they lead the way for the other joints, muscles and bones to chime in.  The elbows , high and tightly wound, let their presence known with two pronounced crepitates.  These are closely followed by the vertebrae.  Joining the musical morning  in cannon  with each other running trills up and down while  each ankle keeping steady time with every step to the bathroom "creak" "snap" "crack" .  I conduct each instrument with precision.  The knees keep the music going and as the song moves towards the bridge, the neck and wrists complimenting each others' sing song  claps, finish their sections quickly but with pronounced enthusiasm.  By the time the coffee is brewing the Opus has ended.  Not to be missed as it will be replayed the following morning.  Its quickly becoming my theme song.  People hear my instruments practicing for their performance sometimes throughout the day and often ask "UH are you OK that sounded like it hurt" no no practice makes perfect. 

ugggg.....I'm sore....

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

The Weekend wrap up (A few days late)

Looks like I am going to have to fire my new assistant. She has been absolutely worthless to me in her first week on the job (hence the very belated weekend blog). I am sorry for the delay, as I have come to find that some of our followers actually look forward to reading the shenanigans that Katy and I ramble on endlessly about.

I might be able to sum up my weekend in one sentence....Wow, my butt is SORE. That pretty much tells it all. Even though I still have the most miserable head cold that continues to keep me up at night unless I drug myself heavily with nyquil (which is making me have CRAZY dreams)and prop myself up under 3 pillows while only sleeping on my side, I worked out all weekend long. Rest will let my body heal quicker, I know. I only feel bad at night and I cannot sit still all day to dwell on being sick and miserable. Most of all I cannot waste the beautiful sun filled days!

Friday started off with a silly jumping pullup and wall ball workout at my crossfit gym after work. 150 reps of each, not to shabby. I love some wall balls. I love them so much, that I decided to do the workout again. Actually, I felt bad that only one person showed up for the class after mine and I didn't want him to do it alone. Who wants to do a tough workout alone at 6pm on a Friday night? Been there, done that, not so fun. So 300 jumping pullups and 300 wall balls was the start of my weekend. Saturday is what I look forward to all week long. A morning full of beach volley with my good friends. Let me say that it was an exhausting 4 hours of long rallies, great defensive plays and some hustle. Sand legs are coming back and our level of play is improving. Completely spent from the morning, all I could muster up the energy for was a solid ab circuit and some quick yoga in the afternoon. Besides, I had to get my haircut and celebrate a friends birthday that night. Can't forget to be social!

Sunday always seems to be the marathon workout day that destroys me for the week. I woke up with my head in a fog that morning, not having slept very long or very well because of my cold, and felt pretty sore all over. I had to do my crossfit sectional wod which was 5 minutes as many reps as possible of 110# full squat clean and jerks. Normally, I am all excited, anxious, and pumped with adrenalin to do these workouts (especially with cleans!), but wasn't really feeling the love that morning. Even people at my gym commented that I didn't look my normal, peppy self. I was in la-ti-da mode and let everyone else get all jacked up about the workout. But then my competitive nature manages to surface for those 5 minutes....and boom. I completed 27 full squat clean and jerks plus a clean for 55 reps. Yeah buddy! That got me going for sure. I followed that with 5 prowler pushes at 180# and 5 rope climbs. My legs were done-zo and had a nice rope burn about 6 inches long to prove it. Take one second to relax on that rope and I am paying for it all week long. I proceeded to take a leisurely 7 mile hike with a 40# weighted backpack through el moro canyon. This time I persuaded a friend to join me which helped keep me going (Thanks Alaide!) She paced us with her new iphone app, pointed out all the snakes that I never noticed until they were a foot away from me, and never even hesitated to climb up and down the steep gravel filled "elevator" portion of the hike. There is nothing like treading gravel with worn out shoes and sliding down it wearing a heavy pack. Next hike she gets to wear a weighted backpack so she can suffer along with me!

Needless to say, my legs were done after my weekend full of activities. They felt like cement come Monday morning, but there is NO JIGGLE WHAT SO EVER!!! If anything, all this training is speeding up results for our LGN (Look Good Naked) Ops!

Thursday, April 7, 2011

It's not allowed....

I apologize for my lack of posts the past few days, but I have gotten sick. I never get sick. Well, I shouldn't say never. I only get sick when I am allowed to be sick...like when I have time off from work or take a vacation (Neither of which is happening at the moment). Nannies aren't allowed to get sick. I have built up immunity over the years working with little germ carriers. It has to be a bad strain for me to get sick, and this one is for sure. Overnight, I instantaneously became the poster child for a Nyquil commercial.

I should have known better when I was running 800's in our crossfit wod on Wednesday. My legs felt like cement and as if I was dragging a dead horse behind me. I shouldn't feel like that after a rest day. Mystery solved. That dry tickle in the back of my throat and lack of energy erupted into a full on chest/sinus cold, complete with a cold sore. I haven't had one of those terrible monstrosities since the sleep deprived days of college finals. Ugggghhhh.

Ordinarily, I just ignore colds. Keep going along my merry way, they never get too bad and life goes on. Go to work, workout, sweat it out, drink some Nyquil and a few shots of whiskey at night.....I am good as new in a few days. The problem is, I gave up drinking for Lent. Yes, I am Catholic. And yes I gave up drinking (among many other things that make me not so fun to all my friends right now). It is not a bad thing at all to "reboot your system" for a few weeks. You should try it sometime. Lent is halfway over, I am feeling great and seeing the results that I wanted to see. Now back to the ridiculous and awful cold that I have come down with....After consulting with my mom (and Katy), we agreed that I am very sick and need some booze for medicinal purposes. A few shots of whiskey would not be taken for enjoyment or in a social setting, purely for killing germs and letting me get the sleep I need to help heal my body. Do you like our rationale? I have told many friends for the last few weeks that I cannot cheat on Jesus. It has become one of my favorite lines lately. But I am here to admit to you all that I just drank some whiskey and Nyquil and hope to sleep soundly tonight.

I have been very busy the past few days getting organized, buying my shoes and a ruck (matchy matchy with Katy), planning my hikes/workouts for the weekend, and working out, although I have felt terrible. I only managed to squeeze in a naptime workout today where I did 3 rounds of 10 minutes on the step mill wearing a 50# pack, 30 pushups and 30 burpees. My chest was on fire, my nose running like a faucet, and I sweat out every ounce of liquid I had. I left full body marks on the floor where I did my burpees and it was hard to swallow the rest of the day my throat was so raw. Not so smart, I know.

I am starting to feel woozy....and sleepy....let's hope I get some good sleep and wake up feeling better tomorrow...Zzzzzz....

huh....INTERESTING

So....I am aware that I already posted for today but...uh...I have to have a little Bitch de la Katya session.  I am a subcontractor slotted in a RadBnMods Team billet that falls under the MARCORSYSCOM umbrella housed in what is now a  ManTech facility.  This means that my building is run by ManTech, My team is directed by MARCORSYSCOM and I am paid by VNE.  Now all of that needs only to be kept straight really by me but I figured I'd let you all know a little bit about my adult life.

ANYWAYS...so...as I stated my building, which houses MANY contracts directed by many companies, is administratedly (is that a word?) headed by ManTech.  ALL damn day long i get ridiculous emails about ice cream socials, BBQs, lets walk around the parking lot for exercise bull shit...whatever I usually just delete them.  When Loo an myself decided that we would raise money for WWP I thought "perfect!  I work in an environmnet that is 98% former/active Marines and I am SURE they would be happy to donate to the cause."  Now ManTech has mandated that I, as an employee under the 6006 contract, am not important enough to directly email all of the other 300 people that work in my building at my own leisure. There are many rules...apparently. 

Knowing full well as a former Marine the cost of jumping your COM, I went through the proper chain of command.  I emailed the head admin chick and asked her if she could distro an email about the event the cause and the WWP site to the 6006 contractor distro thus getting it to EVERY employee in the building.  I assumed since i had seen flyerrs all over the bathroom about the 2.5 mile stroller walk in the park for March of Dimes, that this would be a feasible request and people would be happy to help.  WELL...that was dumb of me apparently.  "Management has concerns about distro-ing your email for donation" ...really....REALLY...thats is VERY INTERESTING AS I HAVE BEEN SOLICITED and VISUALLY HARASSED BY FLYERS AND THREE EMAILS TODAY ALONE TO GO BUY FUCKING CUPCAKES AT THE BAKE SALE THAT HAS BEEN GOING ON FOR 2 DAYS NOW IN THE FUCKING BREAK ROOM. Who is that money going to? What WORTHY charity is deemed good enough for you assholes since mine is not and my sacrifice...because lets face it it IS a sacrifice of my time money and physical well being to participate in this race...is not great enough.  I did NOT spend 2 hours making brownies and putting them in a plastic bag to sell for a dollar to all the already pushing maximum density herd of personnel that roam wheezing and panting around the great halls of the ITSFAC.  So I apologize for the tone of this note and for the next few words, but I'm pretty aggitated right now...FUCK YOU MANTECH.

you all have a good day i just ran for an hour outside, I am about to put my favorite local family through a WOD then go train MYSELF for the Death Race.

The things that we do

Man this weather is awesome which leads me to believe that it is in fact going to snow tomorrow.  That seems to be par for NORVA these days.  I have spent the last day discovering parts of my butt that I did not know existed.  It  turns out when you perform lunges…many many lunges with logs or overhead weights or your weight vest there are parts of your butt that are activated that otherwise during the course of your day while you are fighting terrorism with your mouse and keyboard…you would not use.  My butt hurts. 
Yesterday was a treat.   I know Loo is intimately familiar with the “smoking Gun” wod but she is probably the only one here…well wait belay my last…maybe I have made Mark do it once before and I think Jake has been privy but that’s probably about it.  Well I am here to tell you that mutha effer is a BEAST.  I guess by the book you are just supposed to use 105# for chicks to perform 7 rounds of 4Xburpee dead lifts, 3Xburpee hang cleans, 2Xburbee squat cleans, 1Xburpee squat clean and jerk.  I started with 105 which was terrible enough but decided I wasn’t making enough of an ass out of my self at the local globo gym (man Amanda you should have been there you would have made funsies of me) so I went up in weight until I got to 135# for the last set…and IT WAS UGLY I tell you what.  I got a few nods from some meat heads that maybe had some grasp of the pain I was in but for the most part it was just the side looks out of the corners of eyes more than likely thinking to themselves “isn’t this why we don’t let girls in this section of the gym”  That’s probably true sir…there is a reason you don’t let girls over here/there in the boys club section of the gym but I tell ya I have seen what you fools do over here and it makes me a little uncomfortable.  What are those things you all do…those things where you hold the bar on the smith machine loaded down with like 600# and you put those wrist wrappy things on and your posse stands behind you and you pick it up and stand there and like roll your shoulders back? What is that thing called? I call it lame duck sauce or “useless” but that’s just me.  Why is the posse always so impressed with this movement?  I was caught staring at a group doing the lame duck sauce exercise once and they like did this “psssh yea you wanna try it cause you’re impressed” thing with their head…I smiled and proceeded to invert myself and knock out a gaggle of hand stand push ups.  That’s right…I’m better than you!
OH and side bar I found out today that one of my classes is an intro to informations systems class...OMG ITS LIKE THE ONE THING I AM THE LEAST INTERESTED IN IN THE WHOLE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

WWP Official donations page.

Follow This Link to visit my personal web page and help me in my efforts to support Wounded Warrior Project

that is the OFFICIAL WWP donations page.  Those of you who have made donations to the paypal account we will be transfering the funds as soon as they clear into the account and notify you of the change! THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT!!

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Ludacris

We do stuff that your chick wish she could.

Enough said.

NSTR!!!!!!

well ladies and gentlemen I am here to tell you that today I have NSTR!!!!!! That's nothing significant to report for all you non OCAC SIGINT analysts.   I took today off...THATS RIGHT took it completely off!!! I didn't do ONE thing that made my body temperature rise above 98.6 degrees nor did my heart rate elevate above...uh....whatever a low heart rate is I have no idea I only know high rates. 
As I type this out both my cat and dog are enjoying the two packages of chicken I cooked for tomorrow.  They are a team those two.  Aiden (Bengal cat) went ahead and took it upon himself to jump up on the counter, while I was distracted in a phone conversation, and knock the Tupperware contained that housed said meat to the floor where Larry (French bull dog) proceeded to reap the benefits of Aiden's agility.  Effing assholes...I didn't even get mad...I'm not even stopping it I'm just listening to them.  Larry sounds like a stupid pig because he has no nasal passages so he just snorts all the time and Aiden is really handsome so he thinks he can get away with anything.  Men...I tell ya...who needs em. 
Tomorrow I have decided and gotten permission from Loo to reek havoc on myself for taking the day off.  I am not sure why I feel like SUCH a sloth when i do take rest days.  I know they are important but man i get fidgety and idle hands make really big messes in their kitchens. 
So I apologize for the lack of humor in this post...hey they can't all be comedic gems...eventually I will run out of ideas I bet.  Loo take care of my light work...thanks.

Monday, April 4, 2011

The road less traveled....

Seriously, you want to talk about silliness? I just sat down to write this post, filled with guilt because Katy still manages to stay on top of it no matter what, and I can't for the life of me decide how to spell traveled in the title. Double the l to travelled? I tried spelling it both ways and went to 4 different dictionary sites! Waste your time much Laura? Turns out it is one of those undecided words, but for clarification the British English language would spell it travelled, while the American English language would spell it traveled according to most.

My weekend was just jammed packed with a list of tasks to get accomplished. I never should have fired my maid or my personal assistant, but it had to be done. Did you know my maid had the nerve to leave my clean laundry draped across my trunk, never put it away and let me pull clothes from it all week long? And she left another basket of laundry in my car for 3 days?!?! I can't tell you the last time I saw her get on her hands and knees and scrub my kitchen or bathroom floor. She has done a half ass job of simply wiping down the counters and running the vacuum over the most traveled areas of the carpet for weeks now. Don't even get me started on my personal assistant....she is losing track of what days bills are due, forgetting to check the mail, doesn't return phone calls or emails to people for weeks, and the whore let me run out of ketchup last week. That was the straw that broke the camels back. No ketchup? FIRED!!!!

I am right there with Katy, having that feeling of are we training enough? Can we do more? Are we training efficiently? What should we be working on? It's impossible to train for the unknown. All I know is, work harder, work more often, do whatever seems illogical and impossible and make it possible. With that being said, I think Katy may be going to an extreme with the "deck jumping", but I like her enthusiasm. Her Sunday workout has inspired me to create something nasty for myself next weekend at the beach. I wish I could have joined her when she was bonding with logs, but did my own little Sunday workout that left me sore, bruised, scraped and fatigued.

After my crossfit workout filled with deadlifts, pushups and box jumps, I decided to go explore el moro canyon and hike with my buckets of gravel. I couldn't persuade anyone to join me in the fun on a sunny 80 degree day, but thought it would be good mental training to go solo anyway. All I can say is, the best decision I made all day was to leave the buckets in the car. I elected to wear my 50# backpack instead, which has left me with extremely sore traps and a nice bunch of bruises on my lower back. I set out with my map, a water bottle, a cell phone that had service for 10% of the hike, and a stomach that was already growling with hunger. Initially I thought a small loop of maybe 4 miles at the most, get used to the pack, get a feel for the terrain and come back ready to go next weekend with a plan and the buckets. My plan slowly started to detour as I got further into the hike and thought, oh just go another mile to the next checkpoint and turn around....or the sun is still out for a while, don't waste an opportunity like this...or I would run into a trail that was closed due to the erosion and mudslides from rain the previous week. Four miles into the hike I map out my options again on how to get back. I can turn back around the way I came (boring), or have 2 other routes that are going to be about 5 miles either way. I pick a route, guess I have an hour and a half of hiking left, since the first 4 miles took about an hour and move again. That's when I made my worst decision of the day. Note to self: When given the option of the "slow and easy trail" covering 1.7 miles or the "elevator trail" covering .9 miles to pretty much the same location, there is a reason for the names. I spent the next 40 minutes or so clinging for dear life to rocks or stray branches, crawling on my hands and knees, covering 15 feet only to slide back half the distance when my backpack would start to tip me over. I had 2 thoughts...I should have told someone where I was hiking (duh, Laura) and I was shocked that they would let people hike on such a steep, poorly maintained, dangerous trail. Turns out when I finally reached the top, they had barricades and signs saying the this trail was closed due to unsafe hiking conditions. A brilliant idea would be to post that sign at the base of the trail as well! By then I just wished I was at my car, drinking an ice cold beer and eating half a cow I was so hungry. I still had over 3.5 miles to go, so I trudged along and even found myself jogging at some points. I tried to recite my ABC's backwards, count by 7's, list some presidents, do conversions and math equations in my head. It made the time pass, kept my focus off my hunger and my wandering thoughts. As I approached my car, I thought this is when they will tell me to turn around and go pick up some papers at the top of the mountain. But while you are at it, carry this bike with one wheel with you. Katy and I will do it with a smile. I covered almost 9 miles in 3 hours, and that was only hiking.....last years race covered 45 miles and the winner did it in 22 hours. Yikes, I have a lot of work to do.

I have no witty title ideas....

I feel myself getting sillier...When you are so focused on mission accomplishment and constantly trying to ignore that little nagging fear in the back of your stomach,  worried about whether or not you are training enough not training the right things wasting time ect.  you tend to do dumb things.  I found two spoons in the refrigerator this afternoon..clean spoons, Loo and I had the GENIUS idea to invent (well she is going to invent them I will just eat them) carrot cake pancakes,  I walked around in a circle this morning for at least 3 minutes trying to figure which to do first get dressed, heat up coffee or start making eggs...for the past 6 years I have done those three things in the EXACT same order every morning.
I smell like ammonia all the time.  It is a known fact that when your body synthesizes protein your sweat emits an odor that is pretty much identical to ammonia...like if you have ever picked up a pile of sweaty two day old gym clothes and for lack of self control smelled them and they smell like cleaning products...yea that's what that is and that is what I now walk around smelling like...I'm pretty much going to be single for a while I think...between day three post chem. peel (the MOST attractive day) and my body odor...line up fellas.
so if you live in NOR VA you know that it was AMAZABALLS today...70 degrees sunny breezy beautiful.  I sat in a windowless SCIF and wrote I Field User Evaluation Plan for 3rd Radio Battalions deployment of the WOLFJAW but I HEARD it was nice out. 
I got home and went running outside for the first time since my bout of Achilles tendonitis and I feel pretty OK... aside from the fact that I now BLOW at running outside I feel OK.   Me and my adoptive kids took an entire truck load of trash to the dump (eff you raccoons whatcha got now) then proceeded with the good times.  Post civil service while they did the Frog Complex I sat on a log and watched and THEN  I completed 10 rnds of 35# kbsX15 side step ups with 25# DBs and 15 K2E (knees to elbows after every 2 rnds I took the wheel barrow or log to get the mail...which is only fun the first time because that's the only time you get presents in the mail the other trips are just stupid and fruitless.  OH and school started back today and again because I am wicked smart I am taking three classes this semester and as Sean found out this Sunday I have NO idea into which classes I have been enrolled as i simply told the chick on the phone "you have my course list pick three I need thanks".  I like surprises...I say that now but that's because I  haven't been told to hike up a mountain for 6 hours, eat live bat, punch a rock and set a handful of fire ants loose in Loos' sports bra.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Eff You Logs

WOW weekend you were stacked huh?  I don't think I have done that many things in two days since boot camp...and actually at boot camp I think we had half of Sundays off? Maybe? Sarah do you remember? 
So I wasn't going to tell anyone about this as it would un-necessarily worry people but I had to tell my friend Jen who isn't following this blog but she told Dayspring who IS so the proverbial cat is out of the bag...or in my case the non-proverbial girl has fallen off her deck.  I fell off my deck Friday trying to get trash out of a tree courtesy of the raccoons that I am co-located with.  No bigs I thought I cracked a rib but jut a bruise and I'm fine.  SERIOUSLY LOO I'm FINE.  I feel great promise.
Yesterday was long and busy.  It started with a quick 30 minute warm up run then 5X225 DL, 7 HSPU and 10 DBSC (remember?? cause I like them a LOT) with 25# dbs for 5 rounds.  I drove home and in my car parked at the barn decided I wasn't done so I did 10 rounds SLOW and steady no resting but not going for time of 10X135 DL-10 RT leg step ups with 30#-10 Pull ups-10 LFT leg step ups with 30#.  Then it was a mad scramble to make macadamia crusted salmon,  baked cinnamon butternut squash and sautéed spinach with heirloom tomatoes for my friend Amber whom I hadn't seen in 5 years and had run into at the gym 4 hours ago and decided to make dinner.  While doing that I had to finish the book for the book club meeting I was hosting later that night... prayed for torrential down pour so I wouldn't have to figure out how to clean up whatever it was the raccoon vomited on my stairs after eating my trash last night.  We had the dinner, met for the book club which had some interesting extracurricular activities running in conjunction.  It was one of those book club/body waxing  get togethers...Ya know the ones where all your friends come over and you all discuss the book you read while one at a time get body hair removed by a trained professional in the kitchen...you all know what I'm talking about....you've been there.
Today I have crafted quite the dastardly plan actually.  We all know by now that I live in a barn...yes Tina an actual barn not  an "oh I thought that was a joke" kind of barn.  Anyways my mail box is about 800m away, down a gravel path that has two large hills.  I will make 10 trips to that mailbox today each time either carrying one of my logs, pushing my wheel barrow bogged down with 125# of weights, carrying this RIDICULOUS sand filled sea bag that weighs 100# that Jake built, sprinting or carrying two unevenly weighted buckets.  Between each trip there will be 10 pull ups, 25 walking lunges holding said log and 1 minute of planks.  Again I will attempt to just stay steady and not rest .  I will let you all know in the next paragraph how that turns out.
That was...hands down...the worst thing I have done in a very long time...which scares me because it was only two hours...and as we can pretty much tell as of now this race takes at LEAST 22 hours and that is  if your shit hawt.  UHHHHH....yea I have some WORK to do.  Like, have you ever been in the middle of doing something terrible and thought "hmmm...there are like a million things I'd rather be doing right now and NONE of them involve this EFFING log".  Me and that log...man we are NOT friends, in fact I fully intend on setting fire to every log I see from now  until I feel better about myself.  Lunging with that thing is NOT the best time I have ever had in fact I would rather have chemicals poured on my face.  (that's funny to me because I actually DID have chemicals poured on my face Friday and am currently REALLY really attractive to snakes, lizards and other scaly creatures).   I forced a poor 16 year old girl to play this game with me today but after an hour her parents probably thought I had skinned her and fed her to my Frenchie so i had to return her home then come back and finish the workout. 
work...I have work indeed.

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Yes, this ish really does happen to people

We need to start taking video to document this nonsense. I am pretty sure Katy said her aunt is coming to the race solely for that purpose. Great. And she is buying a flip for our journey along the way. Even better. Who doesn't want to see evidence of our deliriousness come hour 20 of the race when they are asking me to eat a pound of raw onions, search the bottom of a mucky lake for pennies, or set Katy on fire and pee on her? (Yes, my dear Katy, I would pee on you if you were on fire.) Watch out, we are going live.

Katy falls. I fall A LOT. You would be shocked if I told you that I took ballet as a child, dabbled with gymnastics at one point and eventually became a collegiate volleyball player after witnessing me walk down the street or a set of stairs. I have made falling an artform, most graceful some would say. I trip on the volleyball lines that are painted on the floor, the sand monsters on the beach attack me, I tangle myself and pull the lines out of the sand on numerous occasions while diving for volleyballs, I am notorious for epic flip flop blowouts (my superman dive in the dining hall my first year of college was BEYOND EMBARRASSING), I size up statues from a distance and tell myself to swing wide and get around it, yet I still manage to run into them. A twig, a rock, a grain of sand, a crack in the floor? I go down. Big tree fall hard. Bugs swarm around me, birds poop on me, caterpillars fall out of trees to land on my forehead. I could go on forever, but the point is, I am klutzy and silly things happen to me. All the time.

It's Friday night in lovely Corona Del Mar (yes, this post is a day late). It's the ideal evening at scenic Look Out Point. Friends are meeting, couples are snuggling on blankets, coolers full of snacks and adult beverages. Everyone has a red solo cup in hand while admiring the stellar sunset view of the peninsula, watching the yachts sail in and out of the harbour, the duffy boats cruise around from dock to dock, and ever so often you hear the bark of the seals that are basking in the sun on the rocks. Picturesque. This is where I enter the picture. The klutzy girl wearing a 40#weighted backpack climbing up and down the stairs that start at the top of Look Out Point. I had already hiked around town for an hour and a half today wearing that heavy pack, but I couldn't resist the gorgeous weather. I figure 20 trips up and down the stairs, no biggie, then move on to the big hill for some sprints. I huffed and puffed, grunted and sweat, bobbed and weaved through the oncoming traffic of people heading down to the water. By the time I would get to the top, I felt like everyone was staring at me, hoping it would be my last trip. Nope, I kept trudging along. I was distracting, and not in a relaxing, beautiful way. I kept shifting my uncomfortable pack, re-adjusting the weight and tried to make each round faster. Well, little did I know that with each little shift of my pack, the zipper would open just a small bit. Why didn't an onlooker tell me this? No joke, as I took my second to last step up on the 20th round, my bag decided to open itself and shed it's contents....two 15# dumbbells, one 10# dumbbell and The Purpose Driven Life tumbled noisily down all the stairs and nearly took me with it. Now I was really distracting to everyone. I had to detour from the stairwell, climb through some brush and bushes down a steep hill to retrieve my lost dumbbell. More training for me! But definitely not what happens at Look Out Point on a sunny evening in Southern California.

Later that night at dinner, a little girl that was playing with her headband, shot it across the restaurant like a rubber band and it hit me smack in the middle of the forehead. Why wouldn't it?

Katy just sent me a link documenting last years race......Gave me goosebumps, made me want to throw up, and got me excited to get out for another workout. Time to go throw some weight around and carry my bucket full of gravel

Friday, April 1, 2011

"Ode to Dumb Bell Squat Cleans"

Beloathed DB squat cleans, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways...
Standby I am still thinking....
You are a mask of lies and deception DB squat cleans. You have lured me in with your siren song only to leave me breathless and  wishing for death yet again.
You speak softly into my good ear of power and strength, stamina and fast twitch muscle development.  But from you all I feel is pain... oh the  pain.
The Pain...it consumes me...The Pain it taunts and tangles my heart and glute/ham tie in (that little place where your butt attaches to your leg)
You birthed this pain DB squat cleans, with that you birthed my bain, my abhorrence.
I tried to love thee my beloathed DB squat cleans.  Why won't you let me love thee? Is it because you were spawned by the devil and my heart is too pure to love such verboten evil?
I would climb the highest mountains, swim the deepest darkest oceans, walk miles after miles of desert, I would give up coffee and napping , donate my shoes to a shoe burning festival...if only you would cease to exist DB squat cleans. 
This I vow; you will ne'er more from this day forward pull your wiry wool over mine eyes.  You're a bitch DB squat cleans I've got your number.

the best part is who even knows if they help.  The "undertaker" sent me an email today.  It read "Do you have a taser gun?" You are JOKING me right???