GOOD MORNING snow you are going to be REALLY conducive to the mess of CRAP I had planned today!!! Thank you for making it too cold to carry an ax or a sledge hammer and thank you for covering up all my gravel in my driveway that I was planning on using to put in a bucket and walk around in the woods with... you're LITERALLY the best! Did I mention snow that its MARCH!!! OH and before I forget it's my sisters birthday today everyone so sing to her.
The military teaches you a lot of really useful things. For example I can take apart and reassemble an M-16 A-2 service rifle with or without a 203 grenade launcher attachment with ease. The need for that skill pops up more than one would think in your adult life. I was also taught the best thing to use to clean glass and mirrors is newspaper and that walking in a REALLY straight line at the same pace as 50 other people makes for a lovely visual. Uggg I just forgot my point...OH there it is the MOST useful thing the military taught me is how to be mutha effing flexible and quickly adapt to kaleidoscope plans. I had a plan for today. I actually wrote it down but as I said I woke up to snow and bitter cold so I have to semper Gumby it up sick for today. I am almost positive that the ruck step mill climbing and tread mill farmers carry is just going to be a daily thing so I won't bore you all with that anymore just assume it happened. As for what other barbaric escapades I partook in well...100 pull ups 30 with weight, tried to walk on my hands but i can't so...and a lot of shoulder stuff. One arm Kettle Bell snatches push presses , bottoms up presses, push jerks happened. I assume a strong back and shoulders and forearms are going to come in handy for this thing soooooo.
oh I should mention the reasons we are writing a blog about this nonsense and forcing the people we know and love to follow it...it's actually NOT because we are self important though as we all know (and I can only speak for myself) I am kind of self important and I DO know that Loo and I love ourselves very much...we kind of talk about it to ourselves a lot BUT here is the deal...well ONE I am trying to do that whole fundraising thing I guess I should say the unselfish reasons first to make me sound like a better person but the OTHER is the penalty...oh man the PENLATY...I'm probably shooting myself in the foot and Loo is going to shoot me in the face as I have yet to tell her about the penalty...I guess this is as good a forum as any for her to hear the bad bad news. We are required to get an article published in a local paper about our participation in this event. If we don't get an article published in a local paper about our participation in the race we have three choices.
#1 - Drop out of the race. You will not start the race.
#2 - Show up clean shaven from head to toe. All body hair must be removed by 6:00 p.m. June 24th. This includes eye brows, pubic area, and head. ALL hair must be removed and if that is done you will not have a penalty. You will start the race with everyone else.
#3 - You accept your penalty and you move a hay bale from Amee Farm (800 feet elevation) to the top of the mountain (2,300 feet elevation) via "The Ravine" Hay bale must be on top of the mountain by 5 p.m. on the 24th to allow you to get to the mandatory meeting by 6 p.m. on the 24th. The dudes that created this abortion of an event did the exact route with one and it took 3 plus hours One ended up with some sort of insect infestation on his arms, chest, and neck for a week, and the other dude popped a blood vessel in his eye. Note: They double teamed the hay and it took 3 1/2 hours. we would be going one on one so.... OH and we Must reach summit by 5 p.m. and return by 6 p.m. to start the race with everyone else. ..that's right you have to do it BEFORE the race.
So there it is. Sorry Loo better you heard it from me I guess. That is all I have to report for today I'm going to go change and watch hours upon hours of Americas Next Top Model to balance out all the manly things I did today. If you would like to donate to our cause you can make a paypal trans action to GlamazonsForWWP@gmail.com you will get an invoice for your donation and we will say nice things about you to people on the street. I just realized I should have put that at the top as it's more than likely no one is going to read this whole thing.
No comments:
Post a Comment